pass the time by playing a little solitaire

I don't remember exactly when I woke up today but when I finally got out of bed everyone else was already out of bed. Claire was downstairs screaming about something. At someone. I don't know. I went downstairs, moved Phil's stuff off the couch, and sat down which of course pissed him off. How dare I move his presents off an official and approved sitting module? He got over it as soon as he opened his Astrojax and tried (and failed) to "make it go horizontal". I don't think he ever figured out how to get it to do what he wanted, but it kept him entertained and therefore quiet so I was happy. I opened my stocking which was filled with an assortment of chocolates ranging from Snickers Santa to Godiva and an out-of-place massive bottle of maple syrup. I really have no idea what inspired Santa to put that in there. I don't recall asking for syrup but maybe my alter-ego needed it for something. He's not getting a drop though. It is now mine.

Anyway, I then got to work on unwrapping the miscellaneous boxes and envelopes conveniently placed in a pile designated to yours truly, DVDs and iPod accessories all. Yes, I've officially been overwhelmed by technology. I'm having my eyes replaced with miniature low-res cameras next week. Anyway, definitely the coolest gift is the iTrip (what's in a name). I will now be tuning in exclusively to 87.9 KARB, my own private pirate radio station. I tested it out on my parents' Bose and it has a range of a good 3 feet on that. The clock/radio in my room sucks however and I can't take the iPod more than half a foot away from the radio without losing the signal. Then I tried it in my mom's van and it worked in every seat in the car. Go figure. Anyway I hopped on my compy and put a good 2 hours of Christmas music on the iPod for the listening pleasure of all. (Thanks COTU for most of the Christmas music.)

I tried to watch one of the DVDs, but the DVD player didn't want to work (bitch!) and when I finally figured out that the component video cables were in backwards Ratboy, that contemptuous, conniving bane of my existence, sauntered downstairs and, as Bill might say, "jammed" on his NEW GUITAR!!! That wasn't going to work, so I went upstairs and helped my mom make Christmas dinner. Don't get me wrong. Any and all help was done completely out of self interest. Unofficial stuffing sampler and turkey thief. >=D

Then my grandparents came over. I like them. I really do, but I can't stand them. I don't like having to yell answers to questions they've asked twice already just so they can hear it. Again. I should probably be more sympathetic, but I think the real problem is that I'm afraid that someday I'm going to be like that, because quite honestly I hope I don't live that long. At the first sign of senility I'm going to forget to ask for a mercy killing. It's a trap I can't escape. But these are not suitable topics for a day as happy as Christmas.

Actually today I realized just how terrible Christmas is. Obviously it's now the highlight of a consumerist society which isn't all bad, I suppose. Keeps the economy moving. I guess. (I dunno. Byrne, help me out here.) But on the other hand, Christmas, as Audrizzle said earlier, began a pagan ritual meant to enlighten spirits gone frigid in the dead of early winter and now it's a rush to get gifts and spend spend spend. It's really a holiday we could do without. And what's the point of glutting ourselves when most Americans don't need/can't afford to put on another layer of fat to protect them from the winter? Sure it "brings people together" and that is, in most cases a good thing, but it's entirely overhyped, and for the first time, I am truly disgusted with Christmas. I think I'm just going through a cynical stage. It'll pass. If it doesn't, bah fuckin' humbug to the rest of you.

Finally, because I am a filthy copy cat, I go the way of Aude and leave you with a picture, scanned from my brand spanking new (where the hell did that phrase come from?) calendar.

37 7u bru73?

Well I have a new tale to chronicle. This does involve a member of our family but this is a recent addition and about the furthest thing from human as a creature can get. A few months ago a very large cat began visiting our back porch. Lily at first, before she was fixed, would crawl up to the window when he came and whine to be let out so they could do what boy cats and girl cats do best. After Lily was fixed she stopped whining so much when he came but he kept visiting our house nonetheless. Then winter came and the highs didn't get above 20�. My mom got worried about said kitty and brought it in to our laundry room. The next day she took it to the vet to see if it had a chip and. if it did, to whom it belonged. Well it did and according to the chip its owners live in our neighborhood. My mom called the Humane Society and found out that the owners signed a contract to keep the cat indoors at all times. She assumed that since the cat was at our house more than any other place (except one time my mom found it crawling out of a drain on the side of the road) that the owners had voided their contract. Now she's kidnapped the cat. She's keeping it an there's nothing anyone can do to change her mind. I tried to but then she somehow was able to contact the owner. Apparently she's very old and just had surgery. She can't take care of the cat, so she gave my mom permission to have it.

Damn.

Oh well I can't win 'em all. (If anyone has access to FIV in large quantities, GIMME.) I can't wait for Aude's New Year's Party. It's gonna be great. But now I must go for I have many Christmas preparations to perform.

l473r.

ph0r3 d0\/\/n, 0n3 70 60!

Am I the only one even slightly annoyed that blogger has stopped counting posts? Meh, doesn't matter. Anyway, last night I spent at least 3 hours studying for my calculus exam and I have never felt so prepared for a math test in my entire life. I'm going to pwn this byotch. I kinda need to considering my last test grade was less than awesome but greater than 0. I just finished my Latin exam=easy. Studying for that one was fun because I still don't know where my Latin notebook is and that had a study guide in it with pretty much all the information that appeared on the exam. But I had very little difficulty with it so I guess it doesn't matter. Up next: Calc exam + 3 day weekend! Thank you Engrish.

In other news, the goose this winter season is on a diet and does not plan on getting fat because it is, "sick of having it's fucking neck broken to spread Christmas cheer."

l473r.

Exams 2.0 (Now runs without anxiety!)

I never thought I'd see the day, but I am finally not swamped by exams. I have 3 "official" exams to take and one unofficial one. I'm basing this on the assumption that I'll be exempt from my theology exam which is highly probable. I found out today that I was exactly .4% above the necessary 90 to be exempt from my English exam which entirely made up for the Calc test I failed the period before. I no longer need to show up to school on Monday! Three day weekend! Three exams total! (I just took half of my psych exam but that was so easy it doesn't count.) I love being a senior. Seriously. It rocks.

I tried to study for psych during my free period but I got distracted by the interweb. I tried to watch the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory trailer but unfortunately OS 9 is 73h 5ux0rz and doesn't have eithe Quicktime or WMP which supports the very complicated function of modern media players, video. This is unfortunate considering the fact Umpa-Lumpa songs are 100% less entertaining in the absence of Umpa-Lumpas.

And finally, I should probably mention that I was up until 2 oclock last night studying for Calc and psychology. Needless to say I am incredibly tired right now. I'll be able to make up for it in the days and months to come. Senior project: one month of service and nutzin else.

ROTK: EE SPOILERS FROM HERE TO THE END:: YOU'VE BEEN WARNED
The Return of the King Extended Edition came out yesterday, and I must say that is one fantastic 15 hour flick. Granted, I'm a fanatic and prone to exaggeration, but even so it was a quality film. I really liked the scenes they added and Saruman's death, while not at all as it should have been, was excellent nonetheless. I especially liked the scene in which Aragorn confronts the Palantir himself. I didn't like that in the theatrical version, he touched it and went limp like Pippin. (That by the way is the second worst scene in the Lord of the Rings movies. Terribly done and even I won't bother defending it.) Aragorn is the Heir to the Throe and should not have lost it like that. Jackson quasi-makes up for it when he looks into the Palantir and tells Sauron he's coming to kick some ass with Anduril. Sauron however, like all good villains, strikes at Aragorn's heart and shows and imaged of Arwen, dead. Aragorn leaps back in shock and the dream he had earlier in which the Evenstar shattered became a reality. Definitely one of my favorite new scenes.

Also, if you will recall from the theatrical version, an orc asks the Witch-King what to do with Gandalf and he says, "I will break him," leading up to an exciting....nothing. Well no more! The Witch-King breaks Gandalf and breaks him good, but I won't say how. Needless to say, that scene is kick ass.

Frodo's story is mostly unchanged except they did add the scene in which he and Sam are accidentally taken in the ranks of orcs and have to march a far out of their way on their journey to Orodruin. It was done pretty well. It played even further off the orcs easily provokable and argumentative demeanors.

Of course the biggest disappointment of the film was that the last 30 minutes or so remained entirely unchanged. No Scourging of the Shire. I've gone off on that already so I won't waste more time on that but I liked that the ending was unchanged aside from that. I thought I heard on theonering.net that the Grey Havens scene would be extended, but I guess I just made that up, because it wasn't.

l473r.

l0051n6 my m1nd

I think my mind is trying to tell me something but I have no idea what. Last night I had the most unusual dream last night and I seriously I wish I knew something about dream interpretation because...well you'll see in a moment. This is one of the weirdest dream I've ever had. I was never in the dream; I was just an observer. It started with a person (I don't remember the gender of the person. It could have been a guy with long hair.) was spitting fire using some...stick thing in a stone temple courtyard. (My brain doesn't worry about physics if and when it works. The person was just holding a bundle of fiber-optic looking sticks up to his or her mouth, and exhaling a fire-storm.) The fire-breather was surrounded by a circle of people who seemed happy and cheering, but I remember thinking that this person is clearly rackless and dangerous and might hurt someone.

Anyway, that person then left the circle of people and the scene completely changed and got really trippy. I'm beginning to wonder if I inhaled a little somethin' at the Cookie Party without knowing it. I watched this curly, red-haired kid walk in slow motion down a suburban sidwalk on a sunny day. The weird thing was that he was holding his head and screaming (that was muted for some reason) because the right side of his head was on fire.

Then the dream went back to the temple and one of the guys (this was a guy) from the circle of people was lying on the ground. I thought he was asleep, but then he spontaneously combusted. Some woman's face appeared and she looked really scared. Then it showed the burning guy again and the fire was even more intense and much brighter. Back to the woman and there was a very bright flash and suddenly her face changed. The first thing that came to mind was that there had been a nuclear explosion and her face was radiated and getting splotchy, but at the same time, I knew it was the burning man who had given off the explosion of light. The woman died, but didn't vaporize. I distinctly remember seeing her eyes roll back. Then she fell down. Wow just recalling this dream is really disturbing...

Back to the suburbs. It starts in a garage this time. I can see a bright light on the garage door. It pans out, but locks onto the garage door. When it gets outside I can see that the bright light came from the shape of a gree that was burned into the door like a jack-o-lantern carving complete with trunk, branches and leaves. Must have been from the Nuclear Burning Man. It showed the Burning Head Boy one last time and then I woke up. I really want to know why fire and the apocalypse are such major themes in my dream. I don't remember being scared by any of it. Not while I was dreaming and not when I woke up. Maybe I'm the anti-Christ.

Seed Entry 2: to the minute

Like my good buddy Byrne, I've been playing some old-school games on my compy. Metal Gear is an amazing game. It's a graphical marvel and the enemy AI is already higher than Phil's. And it's got one of the best plots/Japanese-English translations ever. After finding "missing our "Grey Fox"", I went in a truck. "UH OH! THE TRUCK HAVE BEGUN TO MOVE!" I went all over the place and got the the third boss, Twin Shot. Just two guys in turrets firing white dots and slightly missle-shaped objects at poor Mr. Snake. I emptied 92 white dots ("bullets") into one of the guys and he just wouldn't die. I went to the tranceiver and a very fulsome Diane told me that I needed a grenade launcher to kill them. I passed that up very early in the game so now I have to go on a redonkulous back-tracking journey. But other than that, it's just pure old-school greatness. I love getting in a cardboard box and shuffling around until the baddies notice me. Then I just white dot them until they vanish. Punching the dogs makes me sad though. They bounce and then disappear.

Last weekend I didn't have many school-related things to do, so I spent the weekend doing lots of nothing (see above) and going to Noah's house. That was a disaster and I'm really sorry about what happened. Hollyce, Jose, one Malkus, and I were having a spoon war and there were more civilian casualties than miltary, unfortunately. Hollyce's pants tore at the seams and shortly afterward Noah's house also tore at the seams. If you're reading this, I'd be more than happy to contribute however much money is necessary to fix the wall.

Other than the disasterous Spoon War II, the night was pretty fun. Hollyce brought cookies to celebrate the birthdays of myself and Mr. Noah himself. There was a little bit of chaos in the card-signing because Noah ended up signing his own birthday card and I signed his more than once and mine at least once and never under the same name. I just realized that I think I may have left my card at his house. Damn.

One of the few assignments I DID have to do for today was to interview someone about some significant life choice they made which I found interesting or worth investigating for my theology class. I have yet to so much as decide who exactly to interview. I'm leaning towards my dad who converted to Catholicism years ago. Not interesting or at all worth investigating but I'm out of ideas. And people.

And finally, an update on the iTunes Music Store situation. I have yet to so much as sample one song. I'll get around to it eventually, but I honestly don't know when. I probably won't be able to until Christmas break. I didn't have the time over the weekend. Destroying Metal Gear was priority number one. That and typing up an english paper so my computer time was divided appropriately, or so I hope. I just hope I didn't insert random refernces to taking out walking nuclear battle tank in my paper about why elevators are in free fall to hell. Slightly related, but it'd be pushing it.

I really don't like internet Explorer. Or OS 9. I don't have the option to change my font so this is gonna look bad with the rest of my entries. Use OS X or at least Firefox if you're too ignorant and closed-minded to make the big switch.

l473r.

Seed Entry

Wasted seed? Bill are fucking moron.

Taste the rainbow.

I ate a bucket of sunflower seeds. That makes me Fox Mulder. (He ate sunflower seeds too.)

death

Author's note: Looking over this post, it's pretty gross. If cadavers make you queasy, you probably don't want to read this. Scroll down to the blue for the less gory bits of my day.

Watching the video of Kennedy's assassination was traumatic enough. Today we went to a cadaver lab and watched as a woman was torn open and her innards thoroughly explored by a premed. It wasn't at all what I expected. The body was not very fresh and was completely undistinguishable as a human being except for her hands�her awful, grey hands. Most of them wanted to touch her, pull her tendons and squeeze her tarred lungs, but I was getting lightheaded and dizzy. I didn't want to touch her. I didn't want to touch anything that had touched her. I don't think I'll be eating meat for at least a week. I won't be sleeping well for quite some time. I wish I'd stayed at school. I learned everything we were shown there from my anatomy book. I missed two classes while I was gone, two classes which I enjoy.I wished I'd stayed at school.

In other news, my Kesterman interview will be airing tomorrow. I'm excited about that. I looked over the footage and it's not exactly what I had hoped for in terms of his responses, but I didn't have the time to edit it further, so I'll just have to settle for what I've got. I'm also very excited that my Engrish project is officially complete. All 10 movies noted and journaled. I watched my last movie just yesterday and was up until 2:30 typing up my journals. They were all crap and I can say that I am honestly only proud of two of my journals (Godfather 1 and 2). Well what's 200 points in a class as easy as Engrish? Yeah I am screwed.

Next weekend will be the first weekend I can look forward to with delight since the summer ended. For the first time since the beginning of school, I will have absolutely nothing to do, no obligations whatsoever. No races, no test, no Engrish projects. It will be nice. I think I'm going to use my iTunes and Barnes and Noble gift cards. I plan on buying Fight Club (the novel) and the Godfather (also the novel). I'm also considering getting Choke by Chuck Palahniuk, but I think I'll wait to see if I like Fight Club first. I'm also planning on getting either Ender's Game or Dune both of which were highly recommended by a friend. Dune seems much more interesting so I'm leaning towards that. I may also get the Godfather DVD. This may seem like a lot of stuff to get from gift cards, but I have a lot of money on my gift cards, so I could probably get all that. I'll also sample the music suggestions from CB and see which ones are worthy of my $15.

Tomorrow is Friday. It will be a good day.

l473r.

5h0071n6 my ph007

Sometimes I wonder why I put up with it. (I'm always wondering how.) Just when I thought things would get better, the situation swells to enormously painful proportions. I turned in 4 of my 5 college applications today. I was quite pleased until I realized that I needed to make 2 additional copies of the comon app ($3.60) and had formatted all 3 of my essays incorrectly. So now I'm poor(er), owe Byrne two bucks (never a pleasant thought), and have to reprint my essays with (luckily) minor adjustments. Meh, could be worse, right?

It is. My film project has snuck up on me. Apparently the final thing is due on Thursday, and I still have 1 movie and 4.5 journals to complete. And then Mr. Kesterman reminded our class today that our psychology projects are due next week! I've done little to no work on that as of today at 3:40 PM so I am in about 3 feet of trouble. And to top things off, on Thursday, which, I am just now realizing, is the same day my Engrish project is due, I will be going on a field trip to watch some pre-med slice open a living, breathing human being! Minus the living, breathing part. We're going to see firsthand the wonders of the human GI tract. If that's not beautiful I don't know what is. This is bound to smell (forgive my disrespect to the poor person we're cutting open) like shit. Shit and whatever it is they use to keep the cadaver fresh.

Well, I came to school hoping for a good day. It was supposed to start out well. I'd edit my Kesterman footage and it would be the second story on today's broadcast. I should not have been so naive. The working camera (the other was in a sledding accident at Fo Po over the break) arrived at school 15 minutes to show time, and the editing process did not go as smoothly as I'd hoped. I ran upstairs with the editor and the camera just as the broadcast was about to (or supposed to) begin. The broadcast went well enough but the anchors weren't given enough prep time for my story so it's been pushed off to next broadcast.

Well, I suppose I'll survive this week. I just need to watch a movie, do some journals, buy (and read) The Intuitionist. It won't be too bad. Ah, shit. Exams are in 13 days. Oh and I have a calc test tomorrow! I'd better get to studying for that.

l473r.

1 4r3 r37urn3d!!1!

I have returned from Cary, land of 1000 Water Towers (they seriously have at least 3 times the average city's number of water towers) and have much to report. The photos will be in hopefully in a week or so. I still have some exposures left that I need to get rid of so I'll be toting my camera around with me until those are gone.

A few minutes ago, an unnamed woman whom I have dubbed Madam X. Plative called my cell phone for the 5th time in the last 1, maybe two weeks. It's getting really annoying because every time I pick up the phone she asks, "Is this Dee?" and I reply, "No. Wrong number." Now when I see her number I just pick up, say "Wrong number" and hang up. I don't know who to complain to about this. She doesn't understand that despite her multiple attempts to contact Dee at the same number which was wrong the first through fifth times, she will not be able to contact Dee by trying just one more time. That is one of the symptoms of idiocy: performing the same task over and over expecting a different result. It's like having sex with a tree in the hope that some day it will give birth to an Ent. I can't block her number and as I said, don't know who to contact to complain. I don't want to bitch her out, but I think that may be the only option left to me. I'll bitch nicely.

My birthday, it turns out, went much better than expected. I have amassed over the past couple of weeks, more than $125 in cash and gift certificates, a large portion of which for Barnes and Noble. This is quite exciting because there were a number of books I wanted to read, but didn't have the time or money to buy until now. Well, I have the money, but the time is still lacking. Not for long though. My college apps are due tomorrow so I'll have a LOT of time freed up after that. College apps due Jan 1 are due tomorrow, but they don't specify when I should turn in Jan 7 apps. Hmm.. I'll just assume it's a week later. I'll pay the late fee if I have to because at this point I don't care. I just have one movie left for my film project and Christmas fast approaches. I have contracted Senioritis (literally: inflamation of the senior gland).

I had some trouble with the Kesterman story tonight. I should probably accept respnosibility for that, but that would require that I be responsible so I'll blame Byrne. I was trying to upload the text part of the story into the school's server and his instructions were so confounding and unclear that he made them nearly impossible for any human to follow (literal translation: I'm not as computer-savvy as I thought and can't read the words, "mailbox" or "name"). I eventually got it uploaded but made Byrne take a screenshot of the actual message because I couldn't find it for some reason. He was kind enough to do so and now the story is all set for tomorrow's broadcast, assuming that is, that I can get to school early enough tomorrow to edit the footage for showtime.

l473r.

0[[4m'5 r4z0r

Funny thing happened to me the other day. I found out that A) the communists have an expansive archive detailing the name(s) and birthdate(s) of each and every human being on the planet and B) my alter-ego is a real human being. The other day, I received a package, two in fact, from Gillette. This is where the communists come in. I have thought long and hard on how gillette came to find out my name, address, and birthdate and the simplest explanation I've come up with is that the Communists started archiving such information a while back and teamed up with Gillette so they could be sure to get skin, hair, and blood samples from 18 year old males. DNA will be extracted from these samples until they have enough to create a massive army of our evil twins.

On a more exciting note, as I mentioned earlier I received TWO such razor packages. The truth is, I didn't. I only got one. My alter-ego, however, got another one which is a good enough reason as any for me to believe that he is officially a real human being. Only people get mail. I mean, what would you do if someone who doesn't exist gets mail? If they died, sure you'd send it back. But if they never existed in the first place and the U.S. Postal service is obliged to get all mail to its destination no matter what, what do they do when an alternate peronality gets mail? Well this mail was delivered to my house which leads me to believe that I do in fact have multiple personality syndrome and that it was he who signed me up for the Communist-Gillette Birthday Listing when I was sleeping.

Last night, I was up til about 1, working on my journals for my American Literature film project which is quite possibly my favorite Engrish related activity of all time. Sure I was up late and was killing time photoshopping pictures when I could have been working, but I eventually got them done. As I was doing my journal for the Godfather, I came to realize that that movie is truly amazing. I liked the movie when I saw it, but for some reason, I didn't realize just how great that movie was until last night. I feel like writing an essay on it, but unfortunately, I don't have the time and I can't use spoiler text because the gray background on this blog is just light enough to not work with the lightest gray text available.

Anyways, I'm so glad I had to do this film project because without the impetus of having my GPA lowered, I would not have found the time to watch that movie until at least June of next year. The same is true of all the movies I've seen. I didn't even know Tootsie existed until a few weeks ago, but it's one of the funniest and most intelligent movies I've ever seen.

I received my first journalistic assignment today. I'm apparently now a reporter/interviewer for the Broatcast Club. I didn't ask for the story, but I'm going to be interviewing Mr. Kesterman, the AP Psych teacher about the numerous psychology projects that have been raising eyebrows around the school over the last couple of weeks. It will be complete with ACTUAL FOOTAGE from a staged mugging! How cool is that? I may be able to host it on the interweb if I can save footage to my iPod when I'm done editing it.

Which reminds me, I need to find a new web host because Angelfire sucks nothing else. The next time you want to say, "Damn, yo, this sucks," you will have to say, "Damn, this sucks like ANGELFIRE!" and your friends will be like, "WHOA! That's pretty serious!" So if anyone knows of a free web host that is free, is not Angelfire, and is free, please tell me because I need to host stuff and be able to link to that stuff. You wouldn't think that would be too hard but apparently Angelfire likes to rape the interweb and my time.

And finally, today in Psychology class, we were discussing learning and how (or if) violence in music, movies, video games etc. effect the aggressive behaviors of the listeners, viewers, players etc. There are good arguments on either side, but I personally am convinced that they aren't the cause of violent behavior. I think it has more to do with (predominant or exclusive) violent tendencies in the person. Violent movies and video games themselves don't push kids over the edge. If they did, every person with a PS2 (who according the the PS2-GTA Theorem, must also own at least one copy of any of the Grand Theft Auto titles) would be going around and....gangbanging? I really don't know what goes on in GTA, but gangbanging is fun to say and highly probable from what I've seen and heard of the game. The reason I bring this discussion up is because today a new video game, "JFK Reloaded" debuted for download (relive the classic assassination for just $9.99! Click here to download!) and the Kennedy family, in all its wealth, is not going to do anything about it. Sounds fishy, but they probably want to let the dead dog lie. Hm...poor word choice. Well anyways, go home, beware my alter ego (I never know what he's up to any more), relive the memories of Kennedy's big day (today is the 41st anniversary), and bring your free razors to school and brandish it in your teacher's face.

l473r.

1n54n17y

Would you be mad if you had finshed your college admissions essay a year ago and then discovered this year that it's some 600+ words too long and that you have 5 other essays to write for college in addition to it? Neither would I. No, I have more important things to think about like the film project which desperately needs finishing over Thanksgiving, and a psych project I haven't touched in weeks and an article to the school paper I was going to but no longer can write due to time constraints. To top things off, I'm going on VACATION for Thanksgiving! Woo and yay! Words can't describe just how GLAD I am that my parents decided to take the family on vacation during what will be the busiest holiday I have ever lived through.

All of this of course begs the question, "Why are you sitting in front of your computer blogging and not doing all your work?" We'll I've been doing work all this weekend and I somehow have even more than when I started so I needed a break. Is that okay with you? IS IT? Yeah I thought so.

I'm seriously going crazy. Like off the wall. I was typing my journal for my film project and the next thing I know, I'm waking up on my couch. I need to not go on this vacation. I don't have the time. Which is why I must stop BLOGGING, goddammit!

need help please kidnap at my house weds night will be waiting

0p3n up 50m3 5p4m!

All the porno bloggers start updating at about this time. I was just blog surfing and I had never before today encountered so much as one pornoblog. I just ran into TWO. In an unrelated story, I came across CB while blogsurfing today!

This picture is funny because the baby somehow managed to look at the camera while the old woman is staring off into Neverland.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/a2N_yuNGstUrRE/GRNDM_DS.bmp

This one wants your soul!

What do you get when you cross Pixar with Dr. Suess? Cartoons.

New 73h b04rd! Kickin' ass!

pr0l4p53d WH47?!!11/?

I am really glad I have 73h bl06 as an outlet for my anxiety and rage towards all college- and high school-related work, because there's a lot of both anxiety and work. This weekend for instance I had planned on watching Citizen Kane for my movie project, finishing two of my applications, starting another, and completing a quality Engrish essay. I have yet to so much as rent the movie, the two applications are far from complete, the third is still only saved as a pdf on my computer and the Engrish essay is wasting away on my desktop and its quality has declined with each line. I did watch The Incredibles on my birthday though and that was well worth it. We had planned on watching it at 7:30, but of course its high level of awesometude caused it to be sold out, so we went to The Bread Co for a while and then came back for the 9:15 show. The theater is currently under massive reconstruction and right now it looks like crap but hopefully it'll look better when they cover the concrete and asbestos with some combination carpeting and wallpaper.

Yesterday, I woke up at 11:30ish which was really nice because I think I got close to 12 hours of sleep when the entire week before I had gotten 5ish hours per night. I worked on my Engrish essay on Gatsby and Ragtime (two really good books which you should read; Ragtime in particular is very good and even has a musical version which I hope to see at some point). Then I was lured by Lily the Good (who henceforth shall be known as Noah) to our high school soccer game. Apparently it was some very important game for our team, so they were probably very disappointed when they lost. I drove Noah, Franz, and Fleaboy to the game from Noah's house. I had expected more people to come but apparently St. Joe's Mission Week was taking up everyone else's time so we were the only ones who could make it. Anyways, the game itself I thought would be really cold, but luckily there were so many drunken, cheering high schoolers massed together that we created enough body heat to warm the bleachers. As I said earlier, my school's team lost. Sadness filled my heart. For about 5 seconds. I'm so full of team spirit. Oh yeah and the people there do NOT know how to drive. They're all so agressive and drunk; luckily my car came out unscathed.

Oh yeah and Friday, my birthday, none of the senior teachers showed up for some reason. This only happened for me in theology; my teacher left for periods 4, 5, and 6 but was there for Toots'/COTU's first period class. COTU was really happy about that, of course. But Linhares' absence was completely arbitrary as far as I know. But I dunno, maybe his lip split open again. BackLived and Byrne only had 2 classes that day so clearly there was something going on with all the teachers. CLEARLY. But it was nice because I didn't do anything and I consider that my birthday present from the school. Of course now I have a butt-load of work to do in the next 9 hours, but that's all fine 'n dandy. But now I must be off to do that work. Until I blog again...

l473r.

Margaret, Ariel and other trivial pursuits

What. A. Day. First of all, I should mention that it is Block "Head" Week meaning that Tuesday and Wednesday are block schedules. 90ish minute classes from hell. Today really wasn't that bad. Calculus flew by and Engrish wasn't terrible although I'm still not sure if I like or understand "The Great Gatsby" which is too bad because I have to write an essay in a few days. Then during anatomy our teacher "acquired" a cow leg (raw) from one of my fellow students who ironically enough does not live in Illinois. I'm still not sure what a Chesterfieldian was doing with severed cow limbs, but I won't ask questions, because he obviously has weapons of mass destruction in his parlor. Anyways, my teacher with the assistance of the lovely Mr. Kuensting used a hack saw to open up the knee cavity. The smell was beyond foul, and I'm pretty sure there's enough bone dust in my lungs to make a small zen garden in my kitchen sink. It's always an adventure in that class.

After anatomy I spent/wasted a free period in the computer lab watching flash toons and making fun of Bill. Someone had hooked up Halo 2 to the TV in the lab. I honestly don't understand that game's appeal or for that matter the appeal of any first person shooter. The only differences between any two shooters are 1) guns 2) characters 3) graphics and 4) guns. I am not at all a fan of the genre (mainly because I'm just crap-ass terrible at FPSs), but are graphical upgrades really important for shooters? I mean do you have time to stare in awe at spectacular computer generated landscapes when you have a gattling/laser/plasma/water/poo rifle aimed at your character's skull? And how many different colored, multi-functional weapons do you need to be happy with a game?

I'm getting side-tracked; back to the important stuff. After school I spent a few hours in the broadcast room talking with the Byrne, Brandon, and Jared about the case they're trying in their politics class. Mr. O came in at some point and formed their entire case for the defendent so chances are they'll do well. After a few hours of accomplishing little more than a 1 minute video of us studying for WorldQuest to the tune of "Let's Get Retarded," the five of us went to SLU for the trivia contest. We were pretty much the only team that wasn't taking it seriously. At all. We spent the free dinner (authenticky tasting pizza! without napkins!) thinking of a team name. "The Home of the Cretins", "The Well Hungarians", and "The Falafel Factor: Stalking Points Memo" were all suggested and eventually used on the answer sheets. Last year, our team (without me; I was 73h n00b this year) changed our team name from SLUH, to St. Louis U. High to U High on the answer sheets and as a result, a new rule was enforced this year. All participants had to write out the full name of their high school (they gave us as an example) to end confusion and prevent accusations of cretinaity.

Anyways, we did rather poorly on the trivia itself but we entertained the judges, runners, opponents and of course ourselves by writing the alternate team names and unusual comments next to our school name. I was made the official "scribe" of the team and just to piss off the judges I dotted all the "i's" (including the capitals!) with cute little hearts on one of the answer sheets. Brandon wrote "The Well Hungarians" on another and I wasn't able to erase it before the runner snatched it up so yeah our school looks very classy right now. We may have lost (we estimate that we came in 5thish with a score of 45 out of 70), but it was so much fun and well worth the trip.

We drank about $10 worth of soda together so I doubt any of us will be getting much sleep tonight. I'm gonna go waste time plotting my revenge against Fleaboy.

l473r.

Oculi Craporum

For about 6 months now, I have been entirely incapable of seeing anything farther than three inches from my face with my left eye. I've tried complaining about it. I've tried monocling the rebellious eye (ask Hollyce for a very bad picture of monocled me). Nothing worked so as a last resort, I went to the ophthalmologist and found out that my eyes suck. Mostly the left one and not that badly. I have a "mild" presrcription, but I can't attest to it's mildocity. All I can say is that there's a series of illegible numbers and dashes on the prescription for each eye. I'll probably end up with a month's supply of Cialis unless the pharmacist is trained in deciphering doctorial hierogliphs. My mom dropped me off at the hospital whose two floors of lobbies looked and smelled more like hotel lobbies than a hospital's. I found the vision center ("We've got BOTH eyes on you.") whose walls were lined with glasses, mirrors, eye models (What a great profession that must be. "Okay look at the camera. Good. Now let's get a shot of you looking at the camera and smiling.") Anyways, I went to the doctor and he performed quite a few tests some of which I would have questioned the authenticity and necessity of if it had been worth the effort. The end result of course was the aforementioned prescription which makes me glad that John Nash is indeed still alive contrary to what I told Byrne ealier this year.

I also made the grand mistake of agreeing to participate in WorldQuest tomorrow. I really don't think I'll do well on any of the topics except maybe current events. I plan on pouring over an atlas tonight to prepare for the geography section. Can't hurt the flag department either. Meh, I get a free dinner and a possible trip to D.C. in April; it'll be worth the time and probable humiliation. This is my first year doing this, but last year, the other members of my team missed the grand prize by one point so hopefully I'll be able to pick up the slack of the kid who was kicked off last year's team.

I finished watching The Manchurian Candidate yesterday. I had started it a few days previous but I lost the DVD remote which I still can't find so I took a break. (Movie watching can be such hard work. But seriously, I needed that remote. I had to be able to pause so I could take notes and watch the movie "intelligently".) The movie itself was very good. Angela Lansbury should have played more bitchy mothers in her movie career; she's very good at being sinister. Murder, She Wrote gave her the "good detective girl" image. Not cool. =P

I'm off to do homework. I have to make time to study for WQ tomorrow. Wish me luck.

l473r

with a BANG! (part 2)

with a BANG! (part 1)

PHR1ZB33 N1NJ45 \/\/17H PH13R[E L453R5

I'm in a bloggy mood, but unfortunately I can't think of anything to write. Well Exams are over and that is a major relief. Actually they weren't expecially difficult this time around. I was rather disappointed that I found my Engrish exam easier than my Latin exam, but that was about the only disappointment this week. I wasn't the least bit disappointed when I saw that it was still raining after exams yesterday. Running in the rain is so much fun. Only rarely can you see where you're going, and you forget the cold after a few minutes or running. You also need to keep a sharp eye out for muddy areas and puddles. Sloshing through those is the most exhilarating part of running in the rain. I'm probably going to be sick in a few days, but it was worth it.

After practice, I waited too long for my ride, but luckily I found Eddie and his 2 underclassmen slaves. We managed to enertain ourselves with a boxful of Mardi Gras-style Valentine-colored beads foollishly left out for the Mother's Club (NOT GAMBLING) Card Party at which there will be absolutely NO gambling, just card playing. Gambling is against the rules, but apparently it's okay for a school sponsored events to involve a deck of cards (supplied by the school) when we students are strictly forbidden from so much as using the phrases "ace in the hole" or "jace". Anyways, after we got bored with those and after Eddie got tired of trying to remove all functionality of our retinas (retinae?), we tried to go to the lobby, but Secret Service was there because some "very important individuals" were going to be having a very official meeting which our presence was somehow interrupting. Luckily the Secret Service guys (complete with bugs in their ears!) didn't notice the bomb strapped onto my chest and we were able to escape without any trouble. I'm glad those guys don't run security at our school; we'd have multiple breakins on the same day if they did. (I think one of them had a seeing eye dog.)

Eddie apparently had to help aforementioned "very important individuals" get to and from their cars, so he went into the locker room to suit up for th event. However he left his badges in the car so he sent one of the sophomores to get it. I was suprised when the kid actually agreed to do it. He probably liked helping out a senior though. Underclassmen have the strange notion that doing such menial tasks for us will make us like them and make them the cool kids with senior friends when really they're just being used. But don't tell them that; I left my shoes in my car. But no! that was Eddie! He again sent poor, obsequious Alex out into the rain to get those. Sophomores are so entertaining. I suppose I have to like the guy though, because most sophomores have the mentality that since they survived a year of high school they're automatically the coolest thing since bread in a can. He and the other kid John weren't like that at all. The rest of their class could learn a thing or two from them. Like bathing.

Today was a marvelous screw up of a day. I was going to go to the park for lunch at 11:30 with a few kids from SLUH and some St. Joe girls, but of course my mom took the car and didn't come back until 1 so I arrived fashionably late. And of course since I was so incredibly late my arrival was all the more fashionable. We tossed a frizbee (is there a correct spelling for that word?) and played some variation of whiffleball which involved no bases and excessively windy conditions to maximize the fun. A word of advice to those who would anger Nick "Angryman" Anglim when he's holding a harmless frizbie (yeah there's only one correct spelling): DON'T DO IT. Frizbees are lethal in his hands. He took out Lily's knee while he was running (a truly amazing feat), nailed me in the jaw, and managed to shatter one of his weapons. Bring him cookies or something. If you get on his bad side, you too will have your jaw wired shut for six to eight weeks.

Currently listening to: Stuck in the Middle with You� Steve Miller Band (happy music for a happy scene in a happy movie)

|473r.

73hb04rd

::MAJOR BLOG UPDATE::
I was blog surfing and I came across and interesting minimessage board and I just had to have it so I made it my own. My precioussss. If I see it gets a lot of use, I may post it on C-B as well. Actually, I know I'm going to do it eventually so I might as well just do that now. Off to CONGLOMO BLOG.

4N 3N6R15H D4Y

Yowza. Today was an incredible day. Pysch test: finished it in 20ish minutes and got to have the rest of the period off. Then in anatomy, while we were reviewing for the exam, some members of our class took it upon themselves to do the world a great service and take pictures of an unsuspecting plumber (you know what I mean) and then brushed it with a piece of paper. The good news: the kid with the camera phone got the paper brushed in his face by one of his accomplices. Then I burned my activity period in The Shrine chatting with Magistra et al. about politics and the Latin Club (rather paradoxical conversations).

Then came the highlight of my day and certainly of my high school Engrish class career. I walk into the classroom, anxious that my teacher might collect some 7 journals we've done over the course of the year and all of which I left at home. He came in the room and said we'd get to the movie quickly because we needed to finish it today. Before we started, he handed back the first set of essays a la advanc� de pla��mente. I was expecting a B+ if I was lucky, but probably closer to a C simply because I seem to have on my head a curse which causes me to begin each year of Engrish piss-poorly until I work my way up to A- ish. I had no reason to believe that American Lit would be any differnt. I am elated to announce that the curse has been lifted! I got a 95, which, thanks to the Evil Engrish Grading Scale, rounds up to a C+. Luckily for me, Mr. Vespucci doesn't adhere to normal Engrish Dept. standards so I got an A. Not my first A on an English essay, but one of my highest and definitely a first time for the first essay of the year. I'm so incredibly excited about this! This will do wonders for my GPA, but I have a feeling my ego now has an inoperable, malignant cancer. I care not. Mr. Vespucci wrote on my essay that he liked my writing style too which I hope means he got the $60.24 and complementary jar of dil pickels I included with my essay and will continue to grade my essays as well as this one. If not, I'll make sure he doesn't sleep well for a week.

Well after getting our essays back we finished Chinatown which is one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. I highly recommend it if you're into dark, film noir, crimey movies (like Resevoir Dogs or Zoolander). It has a lot of plot twists so all I can tell you without ruining it is that it's about a guy who meets a lady and stuff goes horribly wrong. People start dying. Noses start bleeding. Shoes get lost. Shit hits fans. Chaos is come again. Watch the movie. You'll enjoy it.

Back to school now. Maybe I'll finish this blog entry some time soon.

l473r.

Fresh out of Coke

WOO! This is an incredibly good week indeed. Mr. Coke was kicked off of cross country this week! Yay! No more will he disgrace everything our team stands for with his childish antics. Justice may be blind but when Coke kept throwing twigs, acorns and "poopdicks" at her, she played a little game of pi�ata (and won!) What happened was that he skipped last Saturday's race for his girlfriend's dance after he asked coach if he could do so and was denied permission. Then on Tuesday(ish) coach yelled at and de-teamified him. Our team is once again worthy of the respect of the other teams in the area.

During practice today I helped my coaches prepare for the next meet. I had to go to the art department to get poster board and that made me sad at first. I miss my drawing classes. I got over that in a few seconds however when I walked in the art room and saw not 1, but THREE iMac G5s. My jaw pretty much dropped because they've only been out for less than a month I think, and then suddenly three of the gems were staring me in the face. But they were so incredibly beautiful, so unbelievably compact that I couldn't resist hugging one of them. Now I've got a sexual harassment lawsuit to deal with, but it was worth it.

Anyways, I came back to the Coach's Commons (why is there a massive TV and a comfy couch in there? Kinda suspicious, though not nearly as bad as the nurse's office. His office looks like the office of a well-paid clinical psychologist complete with leather chairs and modern colorful bubbly things whose soul purpose is to exist and waste water and electricity. Yeah that guy is clearly overpaid.) and coach tells me to turn the posterboard into a grid for team results. I'll have to remember to do the math on how big the grids should be next time because I ended up erasing and redoing it twice. I probably didn't need to the second time, but it didn't look right and I'm a perfectionist when it comes to designing pretty much anything. I didn't want it to look like crap (it did anyways) and it needed to be the right size so that it could be seen from a distance. Well, the coaches are stuck with what I gave them: a rushed and somewhat shabby "spreadsheet" and a pencil which lost 90% of its eraser in battle.

The rest of this week has gone fairly smoothly despite the usual high concentration of tests in the week before exams. I've got my psychology exam tomorrow because apparently it isn't important enough of a class to make it on the real exam schedule. Of course that means I don't have to show up on Tuesday next week until almost 10, so I'm quite happy. I'm not expecting any exam to be particularly difficult. Probably the most difficult part of next week as well as the following weeks will be finding the time to watch movies. I've got a film project to do and I have to watch 10 classics by December 1.

Movies I'll be Watching:

• The Godfather
• The Godfather 2
• Citizen Kane
• Casablanca
• One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
• The French Connection
• To Kill a Mockinbird
• Duck Soup
• The Manchurian Candidate (not the DJ Shpazzlemasta DanceDance Remix)
• Apocalypse Now

Sorry, Audrizzle. No Blue Velvet for me. But I'm really excited about this project despite the fact that it's going to sextuple my workload. Oh well. It'll be worth it. I hear they're pretty good movies.

Back to work for me. Tests, quizzes and an SAT to come. I miss having weekends.

l473r.

A 2004 Special Limited Edition Great Depression Anniversary Penny for Your Thoughts

Just for the sake of future generations, I thought I'd post this here as well. Enjoy.

I suppose the craze started back in the time of the ancient Romans when going out in public in the modern equivalent of a bathrobe was "in" and massacres were considered the highest form of entertainment. Yes before the Roman Empire, coins were difficult to make, easily counterfeited, and worst of all boring. Then my favorite person of all time, Julius "I got a month and a method of baby-extraction named after me" Caesar, came on the scene and revolutionized the way the world bought their tunics and war slaves; he put his face on every coin. Coined currency became an instant success and prostitutes all over the Roman empire no longer asked for three goats in exchange for their "services." Now they could use a defined set of currency to charge their clients! Because of their J. Caesar's overwhelmingly successful coin, the Augustus Caesar Coin was released after Julius' death and it had a younger, sexier visage on its face. Roman currency became a fad that just wouldn't die.

Then the Roman Empire collapsed; feifs, serfdom, kingdoms, and the overall regression of human knowledge took over Europe; and currency was buried along with Incitatus' senatorial toga. But this dark era of darkness and lack of light in the form of shiney coins didn't last long� one, one and a half millenia at most. Then the Renaissance brought "intelligence" back to the world, and a few years later, George Washington was leading a revolution of his own. The war was eventually won and Britain sent home in tears. For leading the revolution and being the first president of the United States (and the only one most people can seem to name as coming before Clinton) Washington was eventually memorialized on not one, but two forms of currency and his own short-lived reality TV show. His face was the coolest face to ever grace a quarter or one dollar bill. And, unlike the times of ancient Rome, the great thing was that in America, people didn't have any choice as to what currency they had to use to pay for goods and/or services. United States' citizens HAD to use United States' currency in United States' stores to buy Taiwanese goods. We still have to use good olde American pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, half dollars (yes, we have half dollars), dollar coins, dollar bills, 2 dollar bills (still legal!), five dollar bills and on and on and you get the point. We have an established legal tender. But it was just too boring, and the good people at the US mint will not stand for boring pennies!

The attempted US Coin Revolution began in an attempt to end the 1998 LA Coin Riots whichstarted when LAtians got fed up with their boring old quarters and burned as many as they could find. When they realized that quarters don't burn well, they all grabbed for their coins, burned their hands, and ran madly through the streets cursing Washington's good name. The US mint immediately responded by announcing their 10 Year Plan; to prevent further riots (and to make Nebraska feel important) each state was to be given its very own quarter featuring the most irrelevant, obscure, or historically inaccurate event that an in-state failure of an artist could come up with. The Mint made a deal with Conan O'Brien in which he would reveal some of the new quarters in exchange for his first born child. He agreed and showed the mint's plans for Arkansas, North Dakota, South Dakota, and a few others. (See below.)






The plan worked and people started using quarters again, but then NICKEL usage began to suffer severly. The solution? Immortalize Leif Ericson on the nickel because he embodies the spirit of freedom of spirit and pillaging which America has come to idolize. I can only hope that when penny usage hits an all-time low we can have a memorial to the Confederacy on the opposite side of Honest Abe's coin. Until then, I'm going to head over to Walgreens and spend my entire life savings on Skittles.

Bu5h\/\/4[k3d Vol. 2

1) O-Ren Ishii
2) John Kerry
3) Bud
4) Jesus
5) Bill

I've killed a lot of "people" to get this far and I'm not lettin' a renegade Greeny get in my way. I am gonna kill Bill. But first: Kerry's Downfall. Kerry was finally humbled and silenced on Wednesday in a crushing defeat at the hands of G-Dub. When the votes were being tallied (most ineffeciently) by someone on some sort of modified spreadsheet (on OS 9! I mean we're up to 10.4 in a few months!), the freshman classes reported and time after time it was, "37 votes for Bush, 2 for Kerry, and a pity vote for Al Gore." Sophomores were basically the same with maybe one "12 votes for Kerry, 11 for Bush". As the grade level went up, polarization towards Kerry also seemed to go up, but it wasn't enough. By the time we were through the Junior class, Bush already had more than 300 electoral votes; Kerry had less than 100. (|0| 73h |00z0rz!!1!)

While I heard a lot of Bush bashing because I'm a senior and apparently most of the senior class votes to the left, I did here a few interesting comments about Kerry. Apparently he once was talking to some person and the person said he disagreed with him on such-and-such an issue and Kerry said something to the effect of, "Oh, well I voted that way before too." Yeah so he can't even deny that he could compete in the next olympics' gymnastics games.

Kerry's spokesperson was good about....okay no. He really wasn't that great either. And whoever allowed him to get into public speaking should be shot. He has one of the most annoying voices I have ever heard. And he talked far too much. I think I zoned out while he was talking because I remember very little about what he said except that he ripped on Reagan and Mr Hancock was like, "Oh no you di'int!"

John Kerry has the charisma of Charles and/or Marylon (I won't even bother looking up the correct spelling of that name. I leave that to some nit-picky person like Byrne or Audrizzle.) Manson.

|473r.

4ud10bl06 2.0

A li'l somethin' I cooked up while in the box office. Rawk.

BU5H\/\/4[K3D Vol. 1

Issues Day has come and gone. The people have chosen the next president of the United States. That unfortunately means that nothing will change in the White House except maybe the progressive worsening of Cheney's arterial walls. Bush-Cheney won in a landslide victory beating Kerry's 100-some odd electoral votes with 343ish. The electoral districts were divided by homeroom and mine was the only one to give our electoral votes to a third party candidate, Michael Badnarik. He got 12 electoral votes which I calculated to be about 2.04%. So unfortunately he lost, but that was to be expected. I wasn't familiar with the Libertarian Party until this week and it is actually quite interesting. It's like Politicians' "Best of" Mix.

I won't go on any longer about them. Check out Badnarik for yourself and you decide what you think. I have other things to talk about. Like how the Repuclican brought in to debate/answer questions used the discussion as a medium to campaign for Matt Blunt. He was asked a question about how Bush would handle some situation and he gave a half-assed response on what Bush believes and then went on to say, "Matt Blunt is in the same situatio! Matt Blunt is Jesus Christ! A vote for Matt Blunt is a vote for Jesus!" Then the two debators (John Hancock, a republican, and some guy Mr. Smith, a democrat) Went off on wild back and forth debate on the quality of Reagan's leadership and whether or not Clinton really was responsible for the economic grown during his own administration. I haven't studied either of their administrations too intensively so I really can't make a decision; if you want to know about it, I suggest you ask Byrne who by the way was told, "Wow...you're the man," by Mr. Hancock when he came up to ask a question and the entire school cheered louder for him than they had for even the debators. Hancock also went off on how we are all clearly much safer than before the war in Iraq; that just turned into a pep rally of sorts, playing on the emotions of the mindless Freshmen who vote how their parents tell them to. That's also the reason why Issues Day has had a 100% accuracy rating of electing the president for the last 60 years. Freshman have no minds of their own, so they vote the way their parents vote.

Finally, Mr Hancock once again made a boo boo when he used Booker T Washington's quote

�In all things purely social we can be as separate as the five fingers, and yet one as the hand in all things essential to mutual progress."

So he came off as looking like a complete segregationalist as well as a war monger and a professional politician less popular than a high school senior. My English teacher pointed out that he accurately demonstrated and represented not only George Bush's political inclinations but also his incredible rhetorical skills.

Wow, I'm in a Bush-Bashy kinda mood today for some reason. I didn't even get to mention the crazy stuff I learned about Kerry yesterday, and now I have to run off to theology. I'll conclude Issues Day coverage...

|473R.

(5 gmail invites left)

155U35 4R3 4R151NG

Yes indeed. Tomorrow will be quite the experience. Every 4 years my high school cancels school, but requires us to come in anyways to continue America's second oldest tradition� voting. The first of course is that we moan and bitch about not getting what we want. From that came the electoral process which solved the problem of bitching about problems within the country (to some extent), but gave and still gives the citizens something else to gripe about, like the Florida fiasco in the last Presidential election and the "Oh my God he did not just go there!" scandal in the 1493 election. Now a group of 1000 immature high school students will do their civil duty and participate in a mock election. Issues Day actually does provide some important insights which can be applied to the overall voting population across the country, the most important of which is that they just don't care. National voter paticipation among eligible voters has not risen above 60% since the 1968 elections and there is little or no indication that that is about to change because of so polarized an election as this one. The ones who plan on voting merely speak out loudly; there really isn't a large group of people who care enough to make any noise about any cause political or otherwise. This is certainly true of my high school where, on the last Issues Day, Ralph Nader swept the entire Senior class's vote after his announcement that, if elected, he would legalize marijuana. Well I suppose that at least got them to the ballots.

Aside from that college preparations are really heating up. I need to write an essay to one of my teachers so she can write my letter of recommendation and then I have to get my college admission essay from another teacher and revise that until it surpasses the expactation of Mr. Edward Engrish himself, creator of the Engrish language. (In case you are wondering, his name was changed to English on Ellis Island, and that is where we get the word "engliamatarion" meaning one who engliamates.) I think my the former is actually shaping up pretty well, better maybe than even my admission essay. I dunno. I'll let my teacher decide that. But I just want a break from all this college pressure which according to my pressurometer is right now about 13 Terrapascals, which according to numerous professionals in the field of pressuronomy is just under the amount necessary to cause 13.1 Terrapascals pressure.

Hm, I just used the find feature of Firefox 1.0PR and it is nifty to the max. I wasn't planning on dowloading it at home because then I'd have to open the library and import all my settings and extensions and whatnot, but I think I may just do that. It has a new highlight feature which I greatly desire.

But I digress. And now I depart. Expect a full report on Issues Day within the next whenever. Oh, but before I forget, I'm considering dropping this blog altogether as I don't appear to be getting as many readers as I used to. Or at least far fewer comments. On second though, I like to blog here, so I'll just keep it anyways.

|473r.

54mur1ph1[k

Those who know me know that I am way to cool to go to a football game, (I really don't like the sport at all.) so last night Toots and I went a cruisin in his Navigator. We first went to the Caf�, did some homework, and browsed the bookstore. I was surprised to learn that Toots really enjoyed reading a Fantasy series. (Series! Not just one book.) Toots doesn't seem the fantasy type; he's more the "US Weekly" type. He did in fact crack open the latest issue of US Weekly to find out if Briteny was seriously pregnant. Then we went back to homework while snacking on stuff from the Caf�. I had an asiago pretzel that was oh so delish. I think Toots had a carrot cake. I can't attest to its quality, but I'm sure it was good too.

After an hourish of homework, we both agreed that Calculus is in fact the devil incarnate and needs immediate exorcism from this earth. When we weren't able to find "Exorcism for Dummies DVD Edition", we gave up on homework and went to the Smoothie Lord. If you haven't been to see the Lord de la Smoothie you are 73h 5ux0rz. Go forth and multiply smoothie sales. Anyways, I had a Banana boat smoothie and a pizza bread stick both of which were really really good. We went to my house and watched The Last Samurai. We in this instance was D-M and I. Toots fell asleep for a good hour and slept through the most dramatic/loudest scenes of the movie. He had intended on doing homework white watching the movie, but succeeded in neither task. Poor lad. After the movie, D-M and I talked for a while until it got so late that we had to wake up Toots and send him home half-conscious. I think he made it home without drifting too far off the road. Such was my day. Now back to homework.

|473r.

\/\/HY D0 1 3\/3|\| B07H3R?1!

Okay first a side note: I'm really excited. The school library just got eMac G4's running on OS X so I FINALLY was able to download Firefox and can once again check my Gmail on the Macs. Huttah for Premium OS Xage.

Now to the real meat of my new low sodium mechanically-separated, artificially flavored blog product. Yesterday, the first block day, had 4 80 minute classes. After school and practice (which I really didn't go to because of a knee injury) I came home, watched an episode of The Fairly Oddparents (Timmy wished to be invisible. Hilarity ensued. [I love Mr. Crocker. WATCH THE SHOW!]), and then sat down with my psychology book to get my homework done. I was sound asleep within 5 minutes. I don't know exactly how much sleep I got but I'm guesstimating it at about 10 hours which is twice what I get on an ordiany school night. So I am very well rested today, but unfortunately I have no where to spend my energies.

I have had and will have only one class today after a homeroom that began at 9:15. In that class (Calculus) we did nothing. I got so bored I practiced my signature for a while, and you'll be happy to know that I've got my first name down to where I'm happy with it. After that, a 10 minute break. After that, and continuing to the present is my free period. 80 minutes long. Before lunch. And another 15 minute break. I figured I'd read the Scarlet Letter during that time, but then The Oriental Turkey informed me that my third and final class of the day (worthless/bullshitology) will today consist of watching the last 15 minutes of "The Insider" (meh) and then getting a free period because my teacher/cross country coach had his lower jaw replaced with bandaids and as a result is unable to perform his speaking duties. I guess I'll get around to the Scarlet Letter then. After that, it's off to Cross Country, where I probably won't be running again. I will dub today International ______ Day. There should be some word (any word) in there, but there isn't because nothing happens on this day.

But wait! No! Today is a day which will forever live in infamy! Tragedy has struck us on this day! International Russ Day is today's new name. God bless Russ and the remaining makers of such quality video entertainment. While he's at it, he can bless those Iraqis who are lopping of people's heads. They deserve at least 3 for all those bloody infidels they smote. And of course 3 blessings= 3 concubines in the next life! (Actually the blessings to concubines exchange rate is something like 1 to .974, but so what if they get a concubine with no nose? They'd probably have gotten mad at them and chopped that off anyways.)

(6 invites remaining)
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Have you ever had one of those days where you just woke up and went to school or work tired the entire day? Yeah that's pretty much how my week went. I have been really, really tired this week and it'sweird because I stayed up this late (indeed later on some nights) for the past three years and have never had a problem. I just want to sleep but unfortunately I am not going to get a chance to do that. I don't know if I mentioned this yet, but I have to go to the baseball game tonight to celebrate my mom's birthday which means we won't be getting home until at least 11:30. To make matters worse, I have a cross country race tomorrow which twice features a hill popularly known as "Man Maker" and I am really not looking forward to havnig to run that on so few hours of sleep. Well, at least I have an easy practice today; that's not much consolation though.Maybe I'll just sleep through this race and in doing so invoke the wrath of my bitter, bitter (bitter) coach. On second thought, I really don't want to miss cinnamon bagels from Einstein bros, so I may show up just for that.

My theology teacher is having us read, review, and reflect upon books. I chose The Great Divorce and The Screwtape Letters, both by dearest Clive Staples de Lewis. They were okay books, and read very quickly. I'm glad to have finished them. Now I just need to finish up The Scarlet Letter by the 27th for 2% English Extra Credit (tastes much better than Skim English Extra Credit) .I'm not far enough into that book to know whether or not I like it. Wow I'm rambling about books now. Okay this has to stop.

Ah yes before I go, I must mention that our spirit week came to a close with the most disgusting display of human flesh, bottles of Crisco, enough beans to feed Star Jones for a day, and unusually large dil pickles that I have ever seen. The basic premise of "wet billies" is that after the contestants get Criscoed until movie theater popcorn looks healthy, the contestants have a relay race on a tarp loaded up with a wide variety of condiments, which when combined creates the most horrible, rancid stink the likes of which were previously unknown even to sanitation workers and anyone who has ever gone into the school locker room after certain individuals who intentionally abandoned the popular practice of "sock wearing" during a cross country practice have stored their shoes there. Luckily Spirit Week is now over and the overall public display of idiocy should subside for a time (at least until Freshman Fun Day next Friday.) I must be off to class now. Wouldn't want to miss a minute of The Insider.

(6 Gmail Invites remain)

473r.

70d4y 4r3 7hur5d4y

I'm gonna make this another brief bloggation. Without further adieu, so what if I don't own a jersey? Their overratted, holed abominations of fashion and clothing in general. I've never really felt the need to wear anything bearing the name of a 300 lb meat head (or a 200lb one for that matter), but that's just me. I don't necessarily have a problem with people wearing mass-produced jerseys; I just don't see the appeal.

Anyways, I visited with the rep from Providence College today. I was the only one there and I felt bad for the guy. That wasn't the reason I visited with the rep, but he did look lonely in there. It went well, although I think the odds of me getting in would be considerably greater if I lived in New England. They seem to discriminate against us "Westies" as they have so appropriately dubbed us in their undergrad admission department. Only 10% of their student population comes from out of the New England (+New York) area, and a mere 10 APPLIED from my state. Luckily my grades are high enough to get me in.

During that meeting I missed a pro-life club meeting, but luckily Lily the Good came to the rescue and gave the moderator the down-payment for the trip to D.C. Now all I need to do is type up my resum� for Secretary of the club and await the decision of the People. I'd make a good Secretary and you know it! Vote for me!

That is all.

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EDIT: Forgot to mention a thing or two: I currently have 6 Gmail invites waiting to be distributed. If you want 'em, send me an email and join the side of good and righteousness. (From now on, I'll post the number I have left at the bottom of each bloggation.)

I've started a new blog with Fleaboy. More writers and administrators may soon be joining as well. It's still in its preliminary stages, so there isn't much there yet, but if you want, check out conglomoblog.
I'll add it to my links on the sidebar too.

Finally, BERNY FOR SECRETARY! VOTE!

[0mm3n7z

Blog comments were not made to be abused. Say what you have to say and go home. No one wants a poem on your favorite doctor rejected by the medical world and the rest of humanity.

Today is Crazy Clothes Day. Celebrate.

I like pitifully short blog posts, don't you?

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Babysitters are generally horrible people who take on the job so they can take advantage of the sittee's luxuries like unlimited access to a refrigerator full of food they didn't pay for, an expensive laptop to watch movies, and waterbased paint to ruin some people's day. Such was my experience on Friday with the babysitter of Dragon Master's siblings. Toots, Francis, D-M, Whiney Jos�, and I were having a grand time in D-M's basement scaring the babysitters and sittees with Toot's facial mask, convulsions, and self-impalation with a katana. They of course tried to get back at us for scaring the everloving crap out of them so they bloodied D-M's sister with makeup and one of the babysitter's (we'll call her Specimen P-001) arm with paint. SP-001 came downstairs feigning excruciating arm pain. We just laughed at her and most likely would have done the same had there actually been a massive lesion on her arm. She gave up the pitiful act and went upstairs, but no! that was not enough. Her plan having failed, SP-001 "unintentionally" brushed the paint on my shirt when she walked by. She had better hope that that comes our or her parents are going to be scraping SP-001 off the walls for weeks. I really liked that shirt. BLARG!

Last night was a nice change of scenery for me. The usual crowd made the dangerous trek north to Romula's and Rema's house. Toots was his usual "autistic" self as one of our company accurately put it. I won't go into much detail, but he waved his feet in the air, poked Fleaboy with said feet, flared his tongue for a picture, made tropical bird noises, fought with The 1/8 Jew over whose CD was newer/better (1/8J's CD was SO much 73h r0x0rz), and complained (and profaned) bitterly each time the Trivial Pursiut die didn't agree with him. (The last one was perfectly justifiable; that die was just trying to piss us off.) After a good 40+ rolls, he finally got on the last space for the win and (naturally) the boys beat the girls in pop culture trivia. Toots handled all things "pop", Whiney Jose handled sports, Fleaboy and Lily the Good had Movies and TV in the bag, and Francis and I were in the category of "general knowledge" throwing in answers for the other categories. Half the fun of the game was watching Toot's extreme and often violent reactions to literally everything that happened. "TWO! MOTHER FUCKER!!!!" "OOPS I DID IT AGAIN! OOPS I DID IT AGAIN! OOPS I DID IT AGAIN!" "JOHN GOODMAN! WOO! WE GOT IT!" (The hints for that one were "is into yoga" and "Roxanne"). After that wrapped up (the DVD told me I'm money when we won) we watched a few scenes from Chicago and played "Island."

And that pretty much wraps up my Saturday night. Oh, before going to the twins house, I suppose I should mention that I showed up nearly an hour late for my cross country race (oops), ran rather pitifully, then came home at about 1 and slept til 4:30. I was going to do homework with that time, but oh well. Time for me to leave. Expect a new blog from Berny, Fleaboy, and The 1/8J within the next couple of weeks.

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Indiana Jones and the Temple of Delmar Gardens

I thought I'd start out today's blog with a running story. I was nearing the end of my 4 mile run through a golf course. There was a golf cart on a small path perpendicular to the one I was running on. A seemingly kindly old man and his wife were just sitting in th cart. Kinda weird. As I run by the cart, the old guy starts it up and revs the engine. Then he pulls out and starts chasing me. Trying not to be run over by a senior citizen in a golf cart was enough motivation for me to run faster than usual, and I narrowly escaped doom as the cart smashed against the far end of the rock wall of the cavernous hallway where I pilfered the Effegy of Cthulu, triggering a classic old-man-gonna-run-ya-down-with-a-slow-moving-vehicle-style booby trap.

Aside from my cross country practice, I didn't do much else today. I ate lunch and then slept til 4. So that was my day.

I need to audioblog sometime soon. Maybe I'll get on that tonight.

Oh yes and about my vacation. I don't remember where I left off, but I'll just start at Canada which was cold and rainy most of the time. We went horse-back riding one day and I was brilliant enough to bring my cell phone along without putting it on silent. Then Toots called me when we were at the highest point of a very steep ridge and my horse went berserk. I mangaged to hang up on him in time to calm down the horse before I was launched down a grassy ski slope. And apparently they gave me the wildest horse they had available. The thing didn't obey a single command. It nearly tore my leg off going around a tree, and it wouldn't stop eating weeds which I began to hope were poisonous. I think I'd've liked the experience much more if we'd gone faster than a mere trot.

Canda also has some really great candy. Nestle for some reason doesn't release its best products in the U.S. My personal favorite was Nestle Smarties which are not to be confused with the sugar things in the plastic wrappers. They're basically M&M's, but they're much bigger, more colorful, and better tasting. Hershey's chocolate pales in comparison to Nestle's. h3r5h3yz pwnz0rd! M&M's are great, but Smarties are just so much better. And they came up with a chocolate bar filled with their candies long before M&M's which JUST released such a bar of goodness. I meant to bring some home for everyone to try, but I ate them so customs wouldn't take them. Sorry.

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I have no chance to blog; make my time now

Gotta get to homework. Can't blog about the rest of my amazing vacation yet, but I CAN tell anyone who still reads this that have 6 gmail invites just itchin to get outta my possession. If anyone wants an invite, email me at bernypark@gmail.com

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Berny has made his magnificent and glorious return to this wonderful land. I was surprised to find that it actually IS wonderful here. More wonderful than Canada. Cold 'n rainy all day long. I'm getting ahead of myself. I'll start on August 1 when I left for Philly. I was traveling with my mom to visit colleges in the north east. Our plane was supposed to leave at 3ish in the afternoon but of course things never work out the way they're supposed to and we didn't take off until 7. This was a day or so after the terror alert was raised in NY and other places and as if that didn't screw stuff up enough, American Airlines and US Airways caught a bug which set off all their flights by 2 hours. When we first boarded, we were in row 14 which apparently is the new unlucky number because our seats were in front of the bathroom and it smelled like the aftermath of some horrible poo orgy. Nasty to the max. Luckily the plane was having problems (irony?) and when they docked it again my mom complained and at first the US Air people were not to helpful. They said that there was no poop service because we weren't at a hub but my mom saw a truck clearly labeled "dookie" and when she pointed this out, the good people at US air depooed the plane. We got back in an hour later and it smelled like those blue thingies they put in public toilets. Major improvement. Good job US Air.

Well we got to Philly pretty late and to our hotel at about 1AM. It was so late we decided it wouldn't be worth it to go out to eat real food so we found a vending machine and my dinner cosisted entirely of monkeys, camels, bears, lemurs, and whatever else they manage to cram in a bag of animal crackers. The next day we visited Villa nova. I won't go into the details, but I will say that I liked the school. After the tour and info session, we headed up north stopping in Connecticuit to visit my long lost Aunt Sarah. I call her long lost because I've seen the woman only twice in the last 10 years. Anyways, my uncle was not there at the time, but she was not alone. No no no she had company. 3 cats. I like cats, don't get me wrong. Or rather, I like OTHER people's cats. LIVING with cats is a whole 'nother box that I don't want to open. Spot, Tucker, and Daphne (officially dubbed "Princess of Quite a Lot") are quite fun to be around. Well Tucker and Daphne are. Spot's afraid of everything Daphne lords over and then some. As if the cat weren't quirky enough it ONLY drinks out of a bathroom sink and waits silently near the bathroom door until my aunt (and ONLY my aunt) turns on the faucet. Tucker is so big he could easily be/take on a bouncer. He's a brute and likes to beat up the other 2. Daphne just avoids him, but poor spot got nailed a number of times. All so fatass Tucker could get more food. Daphne had her nose and tail in the air the whole time and didn't look at us lesser beings once. Well my aunt had a delicous lunch ready for us (a chiche of some sort, followed by the most exquisite Ghiradelli brownies ever made. They were chocorgasmically delicious).

Well we left her house and went on to Providence. The next day we visited the college. Nice school. Kinda small. Good nonetheless. Then we drove up to Boston. WOO! I love that city. I've written a lot already I'll tell you about my trek through Bean Town next time.

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MORE gmail

Little time. Legolad being major fucker about the computer. 6 gmail invites now. Email me if you want one. Good luck.