pass the time by playing a little solitaire

I don't remember exactly when I woke up today but when I finally got out of bed everyone else was already out of bed. Claire was downstairs screaming about something. At someone. I don't know. I went downstairs, moved Phil's stuff off the couch, and sat down which of course pissed him off. How dare I move his presents off an official and approved sitting module? He got over it as soon as he opened his Astrojax and tried (and failed) to "make it go horizontal". I don't think he ever figured out how to get it to do what he wanted, but it kept him entertained and therefore quiet so I was happy. I opened my stocking which was filled with an assortment of chocolates ranging from Snickers Santa to Godiva and an out-of-place massive bottle of maple syrup. I really have no idea what inspired Santa to put that in there. I don't recall asking for syrup but maybe my alter-ego needed it for something. He's not getting a drop though. It is now mine.

Anyway, I then got to work on unwrapping the miscellaneous boxes and envelopes conveniently placed in a pile designated to yours truly, DVDs and iPod accessories all. Yes, I've officially been overwhelmed by technology. I'm having my eyes replaced with miniature low-res cameras next week. Anyway, definitely the coolest gift is the iTrip (what's in a name). I will now be tuning in exclusively to 87.9 KARB, my own private pirate radio station. I tested it out on my parents' Bose and it has a range of a good 3 feet on that. The clock/radio in my room sucks however and I can't take the iPod more than half a foot away from the radio without losing the signal. Then I tried it in my mom's van and it worked in every seat in the car. Go figure. Anyway I hopped on my compy and put a good 2 hours of Christmas music on the iPod for the listening pleasure of all. (Thanks COTU for most of the Christmas music.)

I tried to watch one of the DVDs, but the DVD player didn't want to work (bitch!) and when I finally figured out that the component video cables were in backwards Ratboy, that contemptuous, conniving bane of my existence, sauntered downstairs and, as Bill might say, "jammed" on his NEW GUITAR!!! That wasn't going to work, so I went upstairs and helped my mom make Christmas dinner. Don't get me wrong. Any and all help was done completely out of self interest. Unofficial stuffing sampler and turkey thief. >=D

Then my grandparents came over. I like them. I really do, but I can't stand them. I don't like having to yell answers to questions they've asked twice already just so they can hear it. Again. I should probably be more sympathetic, but I think the real problem is that I'm afraid that someday I'm going to be like that, because quite honestly I hope I don't live that long. At the first sign of senility I'm going to forget to ask for a mercy killing. It's a trap I can't escape. But these are not suitable topics for a day as happy as Christmas.

Actually today I realized just how terrible Christmas is. Obviously it's now the highlight of a consumerist society which isn't all bad, I suppose. Keeps the economy moving. I guess. (I dunno. Byrne, help me out here.) But on the other hand, Christmas, as Audrizzle said earlier, began a pagan ritual meant to enlighten spirits gone frigid in the dead of early winter and now it's a rush to get gifts and spend spend spend. It's really a holiday we could do without. And what's the point of glutting ourselves when most Americans don't need/can't afford to put on another layer of fat to protect them from the winter? Sure it "brings people together" and that is, in most cases a good thing, but it's entirely overhyped, and for the first time, I am truly disgusted with Christmas. I think I'm just going through a cynical stage. It'll pass. If it doesn't, bah fuckin' humbug to the rest of you.

Finally, because I am a filthy copy cat, I go the way of Aude and leave you with a picture, scanned from my brand spanking new (where the hell did that phrase come from?) calendar.