Scientific Evidence with a 28 Gauge Shotgun

Quasi-scientific analysis of Cheney's report on the shooting. It's Mythbusters with an agenda.
[vi(v)a the Revolution]

The Irony of Praying to St. Jude

Ever heard someone say that people of faith tend to live longer/recover faster, etc? We just ran a diagnostic test of them and it turns out they are all dead. Dead wrong, my friends.

From the article:

CHICAGO (Reuters) - A study of more than 1,800 patients who underwent heart bypass surgery has failed to show that prayers specially organized for their recovery had any impact, researchers said on Thursday.

In fact, the study found some of the patients who knew they were being prayed for did worse than others who were only told they might be prayed for -- though those who did the study said they could not explain why...

..."Intercessory prayer itself had no effect on whether complications occurred (and) patients who were certain that intercessors would pray for them had a higher rate of complications than patients who were uncertain but did receive intercessory prayer," the study said.

In fact, it looks like praying will actually get you a staph infection in addition to your enlarged/deteriorating vital organ. Three cheers for Jesus F. Christ. [via Boing Squared]

Note about the picture: it's one of Man Ray's anticlarical images. It's title is Prayer. It's message is that A) people who pray are covering their own asses or B) people who pray are assholes. It's kind of open to interpretation. I love surrealist art.

The Biggish Penetrative Bang

The US military is going to be testing a new 700-ton explosive somehwere in Nevada. Vegas will have a spectacular view of the newly developed destructive power, meant to destroy nuclear and biological testing sites underground.

"We have several very large penetrators we're developing," [James Tegnelia, head of the Defense Threat Reduction Agency] told defense reporters.

"We also have -- are you ready for this - a 700-tonne explosively formed charge that we're going to be putting in a tunnel in Nevada," he said.

Curiously enough the end of the article indicates that "the Russians have been notified of the test." I wasn't aware we were still trying not to frighten the USSR into wiping us off the face of the earth, but whatever. If they feel the need to notify the ex-commies, that's fine by me.

Anyway it should be a spectacular show. Book your room at Caesar's Palace soon. Or for a closer look, hide in a cave in Iran, Iraq, North Korea, Afghanistan, or any other country that's on Bush's hit-list the Axis of Evil.

Un Chien Andalou

This is a great/creepy surrealist movie [IMDB] which we watched today in history of photography. It was created by Bunuel, and produced by Bunuel and Dali. Be warned, the beginning is extraodrinarily macabre, and if you don't like razor–to–face contact, I recommend fast forwarding to about 1 minute in. It's only 16ish minutes long. Enjoy.

Creepy Surrealist Photo of the Week

Man Ray, La Marquise Cassati, 1922

This picture is intriguing and frightening. It's weirdly disturbing, but for some reason it has some hypnotic appeal, and I can't stop looking at it.

Mactastic

Wow, today is a fantastic day for mac owners for two reasons.

Chax –
They just updated and now iChat AV has tabs! Good-bye clutter!


Virtue –
New multi-desktop awesomeitude! Each desktop can hold different applications cutting down on screen clutter, eliminating the need for expose and making application organization onscreen easy. It's truly amazing. you have to try it out for yourself.

You can toggle between the desktops using this bezel or with shortcut keys of your liking. My only problem with it is that it randomly quits on me. I'll have to figure out what's up with that.

O'Flamin', Illinois

Oft I wonder, sitting here in the comfort of my Boston dorm, how life in and around St. Louis is going. It doesn't make the news much so I mostly rely on reports from friends and family. While St. Louis itself, may not be in news of any consequence, an O'Fallon teacher managed to get featured on 365gay.com's news.

A tumbling coach who worked with cheerleaders at Mater Dei Catholic High School in Breese has been banned from the campus because principal Dennis Litteken learned the 22-year-old gymnast had starred in gay porn videos.

An expert tumbler, apparently he felt he needed to take his tumbling abilities to new fields of play. I just wonder how the principal found out about this without surfing the net for porn himself. Mater Dei Catholic High School...oh! I've got it! It must have been a priest! (To quote the fabulous Molly Shannon: "Don't get me started. Don't even get me started!")

Weast said yesterday he regretted making the videos, but he said he made them about a year ago at a time when he needed the money badly. Still, he said his private life should have no effect on his coaching activities.

Yeah right, like he regrets getting paid to have sex. His only regret is that he got caught by someone other than his wrestling coach, ski instructor, pizza boy, sigma kappa epsilon pledge, or dungeon master.

Moment of PC User Zen

Check Out This Bitch's Webcam!

That's hot shit right there.

What happens when you piss off the creators of South Park?

Only one way to find out.

Link

Those Whiney Republicans

When I was in preschool/kindergarten, I was a pretty chill kid. I liked to explore and try new things. I remember during recess going out into the few pines behind the school, which at the time seemed like an enormous forest, playing in the toy house, climbing on the jungle gym, and going on adventures I, sadly, have very little recollection of. When it was time to come back in we'd have grahm crackers and milk or juice for snack. I think jello was available too, but I never liked its consistency and I think I even threw up once after eating it. After adjusting to not being at home any more, I was generally obedient to what our teachers told us to do. I did all my little projects on time, put things back where they belonged, listened during reading half hour (or whatever children's attention spans were back then), and was very excited that I could read on my own when it was time for us to do our own reading. Granted there weren't more than 10 words to a page, but it seemed, like the forest, to be a daunting task at the time.

In a nut-shell, I did what I was told, while at the same time exploring the world and having a good time. My brother on the other hand, was much the opposite. I don't remember anything specific since we weren't in the same class but from what I remember hearing about him, he liked to cause trouble in his class and got in no few arguments with his classmates. He was always very aggressive at home and at school.

Enter this study.

"In the 1960s Jack Block and his wife and fellow professor Jeanne Block (now deceased) began tracking more than 100 nursery school kids as part of a general study of personality...

A few decades later, Block followed up with more surveys, looking again at personality, and this time at politics, too. The whiny kids tended to grow up conservative, and turned into rigid young adults who hewed closely to traditional gender roles and were uncomfortable with ambiguity.

The confident kids turned out liberal and were still hanging loose, turning into bright, non-conforming adults with wide interests. The girls were still outgoing, but the young men tended to turn a little introspective."

Guess which one of us is the homophobic, Islamophobic, sexist, chauvenistic conservative?

OS X vs Vista

From the article:

"I took part in a computer trade show early this month in Germany, and Microsoft was showing Vista, and the Microsoft fans were saying it looks like OS X (Apple wasn't there). Apple is on a roll, and we've just given them enough time to get the next version of OS X out the door (whatever animal name it is going to be). And we can guess right now what their marketing push will be: Stop waiting for those guys who can't even copy our old stuff in time. Get the original from us -- we ship on time, we're shipping right now."

Lots of interesting quotes allegedly from M$ delopers and the like. Sounds like M$'s in some deep shit.

Oh yeah, this quote is awesome, regardless of whether or not it's true:

" What's the difference between Mac OS X and Vista? Microsoft employees are excited about Mac OS X."

Apple Announces New iPod

Whee.

Doody Faggots

"The great British faggot is full of flavour and a great belly warmer at this time of year."

and

"The Doody family from Wolverhampton has been crowned The Faggot Family..."

And finally, the source.

Dick is a Killer

I'm not a particularly huge fan of street art, but this is pretty neat. Also, the audio clip (hear more here) in the background is amazing.

Picture of the Week

Andreas Feininger, The Photojournalist

Dead People

Tribute to Iraq War's 3rd Anniversary

Where Their Money's Going Anyway

This gives new meaning to money burning a hole in your pocket. (Nudie pictures behind the link. You've been warned.)

Introducing the Nekkid Euro:


Not legal tender. (Illegal tender?) OH THE PLETHORA OF POTENTIAL PORNOGRAPHIC PUNS!!!

Fake porn euro notes being sold as a gimmick in Germany are being successfully passed off as real cash. The notes, in 300, 600 and 1,000 euro denominations have a ring of 12 hearts instead of the usual EU stars and feature hunky men and big-breasted nude women. Instead of the word 'Euro' being printed in the corner these notes have 'Eros' - the Greek god of love.

The fact that this works makes me wonder why and how this is happening in Germany and not America. Oh Germany, with your crazy glasses ads and your pornographic money and your Nazis, you are a silly silly nation.

The Future of Futurama

Best. News. Ever. Link.

Our friend Billy West has once again spilled the beans. According to a post he made on his message board, Futurama is going to be renewed for television with 26 episodes.

EDIT: I knew this sounded way too good to be true. Yay for jump the gun news reporting a la Fox News and CNN. :)

Legal Discrimination (Coming Soon!)

From the article:

Gov. Mitt Romney filed a bill Wednesday that would exempt the Boston Archdiocese's Catholic Charities from a state anti-discrimination law that says it must provide adoption services to gay and lesbian couples.

This state is sothoroughly fucked up. The sad thing is that I can definitely see this passing since the state can't interfere with religious prejudices but still wants to have Catholic Charities sell babies on the open market.

My very own school newspaper, The Heights, just ran a story on CC's decison to stop their adoption services since somehow giving children loving homes "violates the church's teachings on homosexuality." I fail to see the correlation and take offense at the insinuation that gay people are incapable of loving each other and providing a suitable environment for children to be raised.

What really bothers me though is this:

Catholic Charities has been providing adoption services for almost a century but has only been under license with the state for the past two decades. In that time it has placed over 700 children in adoptive homes, 13 of which were same-sex households.

They've done it before. Was it not contrary to Church teaching then? Did they have a sudden hardening of change of heart?
Or is their screening process just so shitty that they failed to realize they were giving babies to dykes and fags?

Red Ranger Rides Again

Click that image to find out where he is now, but be warned there is a rather NSFW image on the linked page. It's censored, but it still might get you in trouble depending on where you are. Anyway, I'm not sure if I believe it, but it's still ridiculously amusing.

Hint if you don't want to click the link: Austin St. John calls himself "Brock" now. Rhymes with...

EDIT: More evidence and more NSFW censored pictures.

The Joys of Dell

Apparently there are (very) satisfied Dell customers out there. And here I was beginning to believe my own delusion of grandeur about everyone going and owning a Mac. Anyway, find out the number one reason for computers and the internet.



I also feel obliged to include this. 

"Why you think the net was born?"

Dictionary Addition

Peter -- [adjective]: Visually addictive 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

This sounds like it belongs on my review page. 

In other news, I was at an LGBC brunch today.(note to anyone interested in event-planning: scheduling brunch on the day after St. Paddy's in the most Irish region outside of Ireland is a bad idea, although if people do show up, at least you're guaranteed a few fun stories.) Anyway, the point of this story is that someone mentioned wanting to get a Mac and of course all eyes turned to me. One of the main reasons the guy wanted to switch to mac was evidently OS X's Exposé and Dashboard features. While Dashboard is pretty neat, I'd never really considered how useful Windows users (or anyone really) might find Exposé. It's quite handy. Anyway, I just thought that was interesting, though not nearly as interesting as people's St. Paddy stories. Apparently lots of people passed out around 10 or 11.

The 403rd Reich

Well after about a day of being forbidden from seeing my own blog because I (evidently) didn't have sufficient access privileges (and I'm assuming no one else did) BJ is up and running again. 

Thanks, Mysterious Gods of the Internets! Or maybe it was just the luck of the Irish.

Happy St. Paddy's Day, all.


And here's a moderatly Irish themed episode of Futurama, one of the many episodes of this amazing show to actually make me cry.

DRM Shortens Battery Life

From the article:

"When it comes to the Creative Zen Vision:M's 14-hour claim, CNET got about 16 hours of playback time with MP3s from a full charge, which was a nice surprise. However, when they tried playing WMA 10 DRM crippled subscription tracks on it, they only got just over 12 hours; a loss of almost 4 hours (~25%) of playback time due to the battery-hungry DRM."

RIAA, please insert the mp3 player of your choice up your collective ass. Or at least fuck someone besides your consumers. Thank you very much.

Hate Makes the World Go "Whee!"

From the article:

The most likely victim of a hate crime in the U.S. is a poor, young, white, single urban dweller, according to an analysis of Justice Department statistics collected from between July 2000 and December 2003...But it does contain some surprising numbers. While race is, by far, the No. 1 factor cited as the reason for hate crimes, blacks are slightly less likely to be victims and far more likely to be perpetrators, the statistics show.

Yeah, maybe that would make sense if they forgot to include the word "gay" in their litany of discriminated adjectives, but no, this article focuses on race. Maybe I'm confusing my stereotypes, but isn't it the poor, young, white, single, urban populartion who are pissed off that there are minorities taking their jobs from them? (Especially when they don't speak a word of goddamn english!) What really puzzles me is what numbers the department of justice is looking at from between 2000 and 2003.

Victims of anti-white crimes: 1,006 (Those last 6 just got really drunk one night.)
Victims of anti-black crimes: 3,150

Note of interest: Atheists and agnostics are the least discriminated against group. I wonder if that's because they aren't members of organizations that require some degree of descrimination against another specific group of people.

Statistics I don't get:

• Anti-mental/physical - 24/11 crimes respectively (What kind of sick fuck beats up a retarded person? Because they're retarded?!))
• Anti-Heterosexual- 10 crimes (LOL Why isn't this in the news more often? Why can't they suffer the public's scorn for having the shit kicked out of them by a bunch of fags? Pink Posse, anyone?)

Ecks Peehttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

Because people apparently love to settle for fugly and buggy (or maybe just because they finally see an opportunity to knock a hitherto unalterable and invulnerable hardware/sofware combo off its high throne), programmers from around the world (?) have been trying to boot Windows on the new Intel Macs. Most recently, this video has been released and featured on Gizmodo.

My money's on that being a fullscreen video of someone booting XP on a PC. But who knows? I'm sure eventually someone will manage to get XP on a Mac.


EDIT: Boots = official

Ooh La Live

Goldfrapp - Live on Leno

Hot Euro Pop. Enjoy.

Chef Gets Served

"Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honoured," he added. "As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices."

The real shocker? That comment was made about South Park.

The realer real shocker? That comment was made by Chef (aka Isaac Hayes).

He's quitting South Park because of their recent episode on Scientology, Trapped in the Closet. Apparently he didn't have a problem with their recent episode Bloody Mary (which parodied the new pope, and people's fanatical belief in and depenedence upon miracles), All About Mormons (which explains the equally sci-fi-tastic origins of Mormonism) or the plethora of other religious parodies made over South Park's nine seasons. Three cheers for hypocricy.

H.E.R.B.

"On your watch, Mr. Bush, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans …So yes, God does speak to you, and what he's saying is, 'Take a hint.' "
--Bill Maher

[Link]

House MD

Once again, MadTV proves that it is now top dog of skit comedies. As much as I love House, this is a great parody. Enjoy.

Winning Out - Part 2

The battle continues. Read about my mother's "response" to my email! Then read my second email in what promises to be a neverending comedic argument between biological mother and son. God bless america (except the fags).

X3 Official Trailer

Yeah, this looks intense. I cannot wait to see this. It seems to have some implications for the ex-gay ministries too. But then again I tend to read in to things a little too personally. Anyway, I'll be in the theater on May 26. This movie is going to rock.

Phoenix. With Magneto. Utter anihilation. Whee!


"Why is this wiccan bitch still here? Her character is so unnecessary, Professor."


Someone's pissed. It's gonna be hard to keep Storm's powers looking powerful. Thunderstorms. Tornados. They better have something good for her this time around.


Team Bad-Ass. I'd so be on their side.

Winning Out

As some of you may already know, I recently found out that my mother went to a Love Won Out meeting earlier this month. Here is my response. Read it if you're interested. Otherwise, have a fabulous Saturday.

The Back's Officially Broken

Yet another Brokeback Mountain parody. This one just happens to actually be gay.

Lightly Toasted

For those of us who've been using Macs for a while, this is quite a treat. Flying toasters! Now with variable toaster sizes and speeds, toast sizes and darkness, and did I mention that the toasters fly?

Brings back memories of OS 7. Or 6. Or whatever it was we were running on our Apple IV. Or VI. I forget. It was old and grey. And awesome. Now if only...

Probably too much to hope for.

Enjoy your toast.

EDIT: I lied. Click the dogcow.

Stick Your Toothpick in THIS

Make your next party painfully amusing by inviting OUCH!, the voodoo-it-yourself toothpick holder. Perfect for finger food, emergency hexes, and jump-starting the good times. With Ouch, olives will never be boring again!

These weighty, high-quality voodoo figurines come in elegant charcoal gray or oyster white, each with handpainted face details. They hold 35 toothpicks with unusual panache and are sure to be the talk of any stylish festivity. Need we say more?

A&F - Naked Duck Hunt

Yeah that's really what people on lacrosse teams do. Get naked and go fly fishing. Party.

Forbidden Fruit

You love Penny Arcade too.

Swing You Sinners

No this is not a post about the "reverend" Fred Phelps. Nor is this in any way me being preachy. I merely wish to share with you some old-school, 30s cartoons from the Fleischer Bros whom you probably know better as the creators of Betty Boop. Anyway, after a brief discussion of animation with Tom, I looked up the Fleischers and found this video. You can find more information and lots of other cool 30s, 40s and 50s era animation stuff here.

And here's the video. It's tremendously eerie. Rather ironic for such a classical, harmless style of animation. You just never know what's gonna spring to life next.

The New M$ iPod

Because I love poking fun at M$ and all it's teams. Programmers (who enjoy randomly inserting bugs into windows just for shits and giggles). Idea thieves. (Bad) graphic designers.

Walt Whitman

Funny essay. Read it.

Supernature.

Why yes I would, iTunes Music Store. Yes I would.

Halo Jump

I've made the jump. Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to BJ. Have a fabulous time.

Mouse Trap

I do not like mice. I'm just gonna throw that out there now. Not your garden variety house mouse. I'm talking compy mice. It's one of the many reasons I prefer laptops. The trackpad is right there. You don't need to lift your hands from the playing field so to speak. With a mouse, you lose tactile contact with the keyboard and have to focus an entire hand's attention in an entirely different region. It's really tremendously inconvenient if you think about it. And I have. At length.

Anyway, I got back to St. Louis a few days ago and lo and behold, my family has finally given up on our old laser mouse. He was dying and had to be put down. The new mouse has a pimple, but that's actually part of the reason why I want to steal him and use him at school. Mighty Mouse kicks so much ass. I heard about him months ago when he was first let out of the cage, but I can't even remember the last time I went in an apple store for kicks. Last time I was there I bought my ipod after christmas and it was so busy there they had to siphon people off at the door. The line went half way down the mall. So I'd never used Mighty Mouse until, basically, now. And it's amazing.



The scroll ball's function is pretty obvious, but when you click the scrollball you have easy acess to Dashboard widgets. That and the fact that squeezing the sidebuttons gives you access to Exposé (which reveals all open windows in miniaturized form) totally make up for the fact that I don't have a hand on the keyboard at all times. I've already changed the way I organize my windows to suit mighty mouse's superior functionality. It's truley a marvelous innovation.

Oh and I forgot to mention that there are actually two touch-sensitive buttons concealed in a single shell. PC users can't complain about mac's single button any more and Mac users can gloat about their mouse's continued elegance and utility.

Show Me More Good News

I found another great article. I've officially lost all hope for this state.

The article:

Missouri legislators in Jefferson City considered a bill that would name Christianity the state's official "majority" religion.

House Concurrent Resolution 13 has is pending in the state legislature.

Many Missouri residents had not heard about the bill until Thursday.

Karen Aroesty of the Anti-defamation league, along with other watch-groups, began a letter writing and email campaign to stop the resolution.

The resolution would recognize "a Christian god," and it would not protect minority religions, but "protect the majority's right to express their religious beliefs.

The resolution also recognizes that, "a greater power exists," and only Christianity receives what the resolution calls, "justified recognition."

State representative David Sater of Cassville in southwestern Missouri, sponsored the resolution, but he has refused to talk about it on camera or over the phone.

KMOV also contacted Gov. Matt Blunt's office to see where he stands on the resolution, but he has yet to respond.

Good bye, Missouri. Can't say I enjoyed my stay.

Penguin-less Life in the Bible Belt Buckle

From the article:

SAVANNAH, Mo. - A children's book about two male penguins that raise a baby penguin has been moved to the nonfiction section of two public library branches after parents complained it had homosexual undertones.

How is it that a state whose abbreviation is "mo" could be so mo-phobic? I think literally every person in the state went to that Hate Won Out conference last week. They had the best turn out in St. Louis of all their stops. I have a feeling we haven't heard the last of them.

Where are the gay superheroes when you need them?

Oh, goddammit, Massachusetts. :P

iNazi

Pope Says: "Chekken aus mein iPodden! SIG HEIL!!"

You go, Benny. Go, go, go-go.

Cease and Desist

Remember that billboard parody I posted a while ago? They guy that made it has been served with a cecase and desist order (which he is of course ignoring. Thank god I didn't directly link to his image or I probably would have gotten one too.

Good Morning (at 1:00PM)

In honor of the recently Senatorially renewed Patriot Act:


In honor of Jesus Christ the semi-powerful destroyer of minds:

Hot Muscle Video

He's so ripped, he's ripping holes in GLASS.

DON'T BE A TOOL AND FILM YOURSELF DOING ANYTING IN FRONT OF A WEBCAM BECAUUSE YOU THINK IT WILL MAKE YOUSRELF LOOK HOT.

Seriously, did he just wake up one day and decide, "I'm going to take off my shirt today and do some curls for the gurlz on the internets. I'll be as cool as the numa numa guy or star wars kid!"

Whose Dick is Bush Sucking?!

From the article:

WASHINGTON - With the Senate voting Thursday to renew the USA Patriot Act, the measure moves to the House, which is expected to pass the legislation next week.

On or before March 10, President Bush is expected to renew the law that broadens the power of the U.S. government to obtain private records and to conduct wiretaps and searches, despite the deep bipartisan misgivings of some in Congress.

Next month, Bush is expected to amend the first amendment to read, "Well at least you've still got freedom of religion. Just wait til I get rid of that silly 'you-can-only-serve-two-terms' law."

Proof positive that you can pay anyone to do pretty much anything. UK, here I come.

New Guy in the Office

M$ Office and all related add-ons, plug-ins, etc - 517.4MB (soon to be deleted)

Neo Office(all office apps packaged in one app) - 353.8MB

Knowing your computer is completely devoid of the word "microsoft" - sizeless

J-gostea Din Trannei - Maeken's Mix

o_O There are no words...

Santa Claus infected an elf and the rest is history

From the article:

AIDS is actually a "chemical syndrome, caused by accumulated toxins from heavy drug use."

"Many cases of AIDS are the consequence of heavy drug use, both recreational (poppers, cocaine, methamphetamines, etc.) and medical (AZT, etc.)"

"HIV is a harmless passenger virus that infects a small percentage of the population and is spread primarily from mother to child, though at a relatively low rate."

There are apparently AIDS denialists out there. I'd like to thank them for providing self-mocking matrial that requires little or no comical dersision by me or anyone else.

Currently listening to: Everyone Has AIDS - Lease Official Broadway Soundtrack
(Thanks to Wonkette)

Front Row on Tiger

I own a Powerbook G4. The second to last one released with G4 on the end. And Power on the front for that matter. Anyway, front row was, unfortunately, unavailable for users who don't have the built-in iSight. Until now. Front Row. Is. Amazing. I'm working on syncing it with my cell phone via blutooth. (My cellphone!) Anyway, I'm ecstatic right now. I'm also ignoring the shitload of work I have to do right now. Anyway, this is good news for me and anyone else who hasn't run out to buy a new computer from apple in the last month.


Screenshot taken from article.

UPDATE: I just configured Front Row's very own speech commands. I can navigate now without even touching my computer. I'm one step closer to actually having a working remote. Romeo, the application used in the tutorial to use your cell phone as a remote, is not recognizing my phone which means I'm either going to have to buy the AirClick remote, or invest in a Bluetooth headset. The headset looks rather promising as it could work on my computer and on my phone. Also, it will solve the problem of not being able to enter commands while music is playing (the background noise disrupts commands.) Anyway, Front Row is lots of fun. Check it out.

Ban Republican Adoption

State Sen. Robert Hagan (D-Youngstown) has introduced a bill to ban adoption by state rebublicans.

(Akron, Ohio) An Ohio Democrat is proposing legislation that would prevent Republicans from adopting children, a move aimed at embarrassing the GOP over moves to block gay adoptions.

Best. Bill. Ever.

TotesPod

Apple's "totes" fug leather case in response to the Nano scratch lawsuit:

$99 (for all models - wtf)

My "totes" fab leather case in response to fear of said scratches on my 30GB iPod:

$39 + acess to screen and clickwheel

Apple, I will never understand. Never.