Bin Laden Speaks Out

Bin Laden is apparently appealing to Bush's political enemies within the States. That sounds like a really unusual strategy. He seems very well read on American political matters for someone who's supposed to be hiding in caves somewhere. I guess he's a NY Times subscriber.

Finally, I say that war will go either in our favor or yours. If it is the former, it means your loss and your shame forever, and it is headed in this course. If it is the latter, read history! We are people who do not stand for injustice and we will seek revenge all our lives. The nights and days will not pass without us taking vengeance like on Sept. 11, God permitting. Your minds will be troubled and your lives embittered. As for us, we have nothing to lose. A swimmer in the ocean does not fear the rain. You have occupied our lands, offended our honor and dignity and let out our blood and stolen our money and destroyed our houses and played with our security and we will give you the same treatment.

Easily my favorite part. "If we lose, we'll come back for 9/11 2.0. If we win, you lose, shame on your house and your children. Neener neener neeener." At this point he's just taunting Bush. He's still around (Dang it! I thougth we got him back when we were in Dirkastan!) and he threatened shame upon Bush and America by driving American troops out of Iraq (Didn't I already tell him not to mess with Texas? He's trying to mess with Texas!)

And, thank god, Bush won't let him mess with Texas ever again. (Little known fact: "Tex" is Bush's nick name for himself. It's true. Ask google.)

I also really loved that the AP felt the need to Americanize what I can only assume was "Allah" to "God" so that we (silly Americans) don't get confused. Isn't it enough that Bin Laden's egging the White House while Laura's trying to sleep? Do we really need the Associated Press to be so condescending (watering Bin Laden's press release down because we're fucking dumb asses)?

Anyway, keep em comin' Bin Laden. We haven't heard from ya in a while and you promised to write once a month. Be sure and include a return address so we can write back.