A Glorious Return

I've been avoiding blogging for a while since I got my fancy new job working for Mr. Jobs. (They don't like bloggers at apple. Meh.) Anyway, I won't be discussing apple stuff any more, but that's cool with everyone, right? Right. Okay! So, blogger also now lets me restrict who can read my blog and I do like the ability to control my readership a little bit so I think I'm bringing back the Bernal Jernal one more time.

Right now I'm waiting for my psych exam to start. Little less than 2 hours. I have another one tomorrow. My exam schedule is awful. Everyone left yesterday, but I was planning on being on my own for a while. I'm staying on campus until xmas eve. I told my managers I'd work through xmas so I'll be chilling in boston for a while. The weather sucks right now, but I'm thinking a healthy dose of retail therapy tomorrow will fix that. (I love being able to afford stuff.)

In other news, you must download and listen to this album. You will not regret it. I'll post more interesting things later tonight. I just wanted to get the BJ juices flowing again. Until then, I've studying to do. Wish me luck. I doubt I'll need it.

I'm In Love

Goldfrapp – Strict Machine – We Are Glitter Mix

iTunes 7.0

iTunes just got an update. It looks elegant, has great new features (gapless playack!), and a new blue logo. So far I like the changes. You'll probably be prompted to update next time you fire up iTunes, but if that hasn't happened yet, you can always download it here.
There are also new iPods, new iPod software, and a preview of iTV. You can see them all at engadget.

EDIT: New iPod ad.

Gorgeous as always.

Fred Watches The Emmies

This is Fred Phelps' rambling review of this year's Emmy award ceremony. Specifically, he's pissed off about Stephen Colbert's opening statement "Good evening, godless sodomites." First of all, I'm honestly shocked that Phelps doesn't hold Colbert up as a national hero. Sadly, it appears Jesus has finally given him the ability to detect sarcasm in addition to unholy sodomite activity. Really though, how did he manage to stretch this complaint out to 10 minutes? I couldn't keep watching after 4, not because it was particularly insulting. It was just boring. Sorry Freddy. You need to take a public speaking class and learn to hold your audience captive. Like Hitler.

P&T: Holier than Thou

Wow. This is the most shocking episode of P&T I've ever seen. Who would have thought that Mother Theresa was a sadistic witch who kept millions of people in poverty and suffering so she could be spiritually enlightened? It gets better. The president of the Catholic League (saving the world from non-catholics by slapping their arcane "morals" on the rest of us) admits that she did so and that doing so was admirable. That's freakier than opus dei's masochism. I guess really that's the catholic church's biggest flaw: they focus way too much on the crucifixion of that silly old jew (anyone see the Passion?) and human suffering as a means of spiritual enlightenement. Thanks, catholics, but I'm not going to spend one lifetime in misery so I can (hopefully!) have a reasonably not-shitty afterlife.

Anyway, watch the show. I won't spoil the sinister sides of Ghandi or the Dalai or The Man Worshiped By the Gaggle of Post-Menopause Housewives.



Edit: Bah! Someone's purged all the P&T. :(

The Hottest Lapdance You Ever Got

Presumably in response to crap like this, Apple's recalling pretty much every battery they've ever made in the last 3 years. So now I have to wait to get the official email from them about what to do with mine and how to replace it. This is really annoying. Although it's probably even more annoying for the Apple store workers. Every Mac laptop out there has a ticking timb bomb in it. Ugh. I so don't need this before I leave for school.

UPDATE: This is apple's official announcement with bonus details like how to get a new battery if yours is too hott for you. (Mine's fine.) Here's the table of affected serial numbers. If your serial number doesn't match, you're fine.

(Take out the battery (hardwood floors! no carpet!) and the serial number will be the first 5 digits under the bar code. And not the one on the sticker.)

Robert Icarus, reporting live from your rooftop

The most extreme video you will ever watch. Ever.

Pitiful Photoshopping

XGW posted some rather uncreative mock-ups of posters from a group of radial right wing nutters who've destroyed their interest in sex through intense prayer and self-loathing. They were protesting the American Psychological Association which to this day refuses to call us queers the demented freaks we really are. As unimpressive as XGW's photoshopping are the posters themselves. Any bureaucratic candidate for the Office of the Unnecessary Fund Distribution in your district of wherever puts more money into his lawn posters and bumper stickers than these hacks. You'd think they could have had their (female!) children sprinkle some glitter on them to make them pretty or something. I guess the visually attractive is gay now. (Sweet.) Anyway, I decided I could do a much better job with photoshop.

Ex-gays fall into two categories: those with AIDS, and those who couldn't get any ass because they were too fat/ugly. Guess which each of them is!

iLife Dorm Edition

This guy has a collection of great (mostly) free software to enhance your (Mac) computing expience while at college. I regularly use at least half of the applications featured and can vouch for their quality. Browse through and see what you like.

Sweet Home Alabama

This country (and its 50 states with their varying degrees of general insanity) has some pretty weird laws on the books. One of my favorites was on the Daily Show back when Colbert was just a correspondent. Some Florida town banned poor Satan from living in it or even entering. Alabama it turns out, has a really crazy law in its state consitution.

No person who denies the being of a God shall hold any office in the civil departments of this State, nor be competent to testify as a witness in any court.
– Article 19, section 1 of the Arkansas Constitution

Oh yes. Better hope the one person who can corroborate your alibi on the night you allegedly massacred your parents isn't an atheist. Hell, they'd probably just lynch both of you. I'm appalled that such arcane, unconstitutional laws remain in the state's constitution, but I can't say I'm at all surprised. [source]

It's becoming increasinly difficult to find reasons to like this country (particularly its nether regions). Alan Moore raised some good points about the US's (and the UK's) warped sexuality in his interview with The A.V. Club (NSFW images throughout the interview). His next graphic novel (16 years in the making!) is a self-proclaimed pornographic exploration of humanity's sexual fantasies which is bound to burned en masse south of the Mason-Dixon. For the rest of us, it should be an insighful look at human sexuality. Even if it is just a lot of tits and pussy. (Yuck.) Anyway, the interview's great, and I suggest you read it.

UPDATE: More anti-Christian discrimination. (Some states don't just hate athesits. Big surprise.) My favorite is Texas's.

"No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office, or public trust, in this State; nor shall any one be excluded from holding office on account of his religious sentiments, provided he acknowledge the existence of a Supreme Being."

Perhaps they're worried that since atheists (and non-Christians) have to put their hand on the bible and swear to tell the truth that they won't have any reason to do so. Since no Christian has ever lied under oath.

Minefield

The Mozilla team has finally given Firefox a long-deserved Cocoa makeover. Minefield is prettier and runs faster than the old Carbon clunker. Right now it's not even considered a pre-release. It's occasionally buggy and very few extensions or themes work on it, but it's a nice preview of what's to come. It looks and feels fantastic. Once it gets an official release this will be the best browser for Mac. You can download the pre-pre-release here. Oh! It also has some new features from the FF2.0b such as the inline spellcheck. Very handy. Give it a try.

Perfectly Aligned

It could just be that it's really late, but I thought this was hilarious.

M is for Molester

Okay since I was very little, I've always thought the guys behihnd Sesame Street were complete geniuses. The show is entertaing for kids and their parents with a bunch of inside jokes for everyone. Then there was Avenue Q which has a great soundtrack and was created by some of the original puppeteers who clearly couldn't do a whole lot with a kid's show. Anyway, I just stumbled on the season premier of Sesame Street. It's based on Law and Order's very own sex crimes spin off unit.

Vacated

I'm on holiday in the Land of the Mullet. Not how I'd like my gag reflex tested, but I really don't have any say in the matter. I'll get back to posting when I get back to civilization.

The Dark Knight Returns

That (minus "Returns") is the title of the next Batman film directed by and starring (basically) the same crew. Also, it's been officially announced that the Joker will be played by Heath Ledger. Definitely a better pick than Topher for Eddie Brock, but I still have reservations.
[source]