The Art of Dart

I have a new favorite artist of the month or so. Kevin Dart has some great illustrations on his website. They kind of have a Tartakovsky (Dexter's Lab/Powerpuff Girls/Samurai Jack) look, but at the same time they have a classic pulp feel to them. I love. You should to. Check em out.

Rorschachian Fun

So, I got a little bored today and decided to have some fun. Unfortunately for this emogirl, the result was that I burned and permanantly scarred her face. Oopsie. Oh well. That'll teach her to publicly show her angst on the internets!

Before the chemical spill that scarred her for life:


The resulting Two-Face from Hell:

Honestly I'm kind of disappointed. This tutorial looked so fun but it only took 10 minutes to do. Ah well. Maybe the next one will be longer.

Spider-Man 3 Teaser

Watch. Now.

EDIT: Okay, I was hoping this would be like a normal teaser and reveal absolutely nothing like the cock-tease they're supposed to be, but this one reaveals way too much. Don't watch it if you don't have some idea about what happens to, well, everyone from the last movie. Screenshots after the jump.

Vintage Superman Cartoon

I found this neat old-school Superman cartoon while browsing through Google's video animations. It's a hilarious toon starring (of course) Clark Kent and one bitchy Lois Lane. Three cheers for the misogynistic 40s, 50s and so on.

NYT Accused of Treason For Doing Its Job

First of all, who was really surprised by the revelation that the feds are rifling through our bank statements, especially after AT&T et al. started handing over phone records years ago? I mean this was all spelled out in the Patriot Act. Bleh. Anyway, the chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee has called the New York Times treasonous and is requesting that the Department of Justice investigate the staff.

I also love how he's trying to trump up the nature of the war we're in. Quotes like: "We're at war, and for the Times to release information about secret operations and methods is treasonous," would have been totally appropriate if the New York Times in 1943 had revealed the US's surveillance and attack plan for Germany. But this is a war on terror which is being fought in the Middle East and globally through the trafficking and interception of information. Telling the American people their government is spying on them isn't treasonous. It's certainly not going to inhibit said government from tracking banking records. Nor is it a shocking revelation no one believed possible.

EDIT: See? What did I tell you. Not at all a surprise. We just weren't paying attention.

Used Car Ad (Audio NSFW)

Wear headphones if you're at work or anywhere else where you could get in trouble because something on the computer just threatened to fuck you wife.

Fucking amazing. Even if it is just a spoof.

Casino Royale Theme

I'm superexcited. Goldfrapp has (possibly) signed up to do the James Bond theme for the new Bond movie which, from what I've seen in the trailer, kinda looks interesting and potentially good. For a Bond movie anyway. Anyway, sounds good. I can't wait to hear Goldfrapp's Bond theme. Should be great.

The Return of Bender

YES! Only seriously this time! YES! Futurama is back!

From the article:

Comedy Central has resurrected the former Fox animated series from "The Simpsons" creator Matt Groening and David X. Cohen. At least 13 new episodes will be produced -- the first since the series' original run from 1999-2003.

The new batch is part of a deal the cable network made with 20th Century Fox Television last year to pick up syndicated rights to the existing "Futurama" library of 72 episodes. Comedy Central also had an option to air any new episodes produced.

Reuters wouldn't lie, right? I'm not jumping guns, am I? Erg. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Zim. iTunes.

I just finished cleaning up after I excited myself over the discovery of Invader Zim (amazing cartoon canceled by the corporate goons at Nickelodeon because it didn't fit in with their family values/kiddie kulture or some shit like that) on iTunes Music store. Better yet, the series premier is both here and free. If you haven't seen it, watch. Now.

Foster's Home For Imaginary Blogs

OMG OMG OMG Craig McCracken's blog. I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am. Enjoy for yourself. Craig McCracken did the art for Dexter's Lab and Powerpuff Girls. He also wrote and produced the Powerpuff Girls. Now he's directing his own show, Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends. Ridiculously amusing in a Saturday morning cartoon kinda way.

Moore Harasses the Harassers

I feel so weird cheering for uberliberal celebrity nuisance Michael Moore, but this video is just too great. He goes cross country in the Sodomobile (filled with [presumably] sodomizing homosexuals) to all the states with anti-Sodomy laws. Twice he confronts Fred Phelps himself (whom I'd never seen on camera before and who looks and sounds exactly like I pictured) with his gaggle of gays and twice Phelps retreats. Shirley even makes a cameo asking why they hide in their homo-bus instead of prancing around like animals like they did the first time. Oh Shirley. You asked for it.

Connie. Oh, Connie.

I think that's about eight good reasons not to down the farewell champagne before going on the air.

He Was Just Kidding Anyway

Christianity has always had it's masochistic side, but there's something entirely absurd about it's most fundamental tenet that I'd completely overlooked. In summary:

From the article:

This is the type of "relationship" that abused wives have with their husbands, that brainwashed hostages have with their captors. It is known in clinical circles as Stockholm Syndrome. Should it come as any surprise that the cries of the church, "The Bride of Christ" sound much like the cries of an abused wife attempting to protect her husband?

"He must beat me."
"I deserve it."
"He has no choice."
"It's for my own good."

Robots In Disguise

HUGE news from Iraq. Optimus Prime has headed to the middle east to kick some Arab ass. Watch out Terror. We don't just have robots. We have servicemen who wish they were robots. I can hear you shaking in your caves. Fear us, Terror! Our war on you is about to END.

Brain Sex

My brain's gender is....

Indeterminate? The Best of Both Worlds? (Or maybe the worst?) Neither? Or maybe my mind is just so advanced in its thinking processes that it has transcended all notions of gender. You know. Like an android.

Take the test to find out your brain's sex. If you have one.

Free TV Show on iTMS

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia – Underage Drinking
This is a thoroughly tastless comedy about four ethicless bar owners in Philadelphia. I like the free episode, but it's not laugh out loud hilarity. Mostly just shock humor. Which is fine.


Eek. Okay a few days ago, they had a free episode of Comedy Central's new show "Dog Bites Man" but that's not free any more. Oh well. As for the show, it's written by the guy who did Reno 911 (he actually plays a character in this show) and it has a lot of the same humor: pathetic people in awkward situations trying to look less pathetic than the rest of the cast. Good show, but again, nothing really new if you've seen Reno 911.

To: MPAA From: Matt Stone Re: South Park Movie

[thanks to Hot Blog]

Shirley's Back!

This crazy bitch makes Southern Baptists look like fuckin' hippies! Oh, and you'll never guess what our founding father had in mind when they picked out the colors of our flag.

Get Together

To make up for her new single's atrocious album art (and most of the content; I only really like the I Love New York Remix out of the 6 songs on there), she's released a pretty neat music video! It's kinda Gnarles Barkley meets the new iPod ads. Very pretty. I like. Too bad the new CD sucks. :P

440lb Speed Bump

Even better: it was human. A 440lb German man survived being run over by a Volkswagon Polo because of voluminous body fat. Who says being overweight is bad for your health?

Kathy Griffin Sex Tape!

WOOO! Hot! :D

Mass Exodus

Fed up will all the "facts" and "science" being presented to their children in public schools, Baptists are considering pulling all their kids out of school so they can re-edumacate them in private schools or at home using the only text book you should ever be consulting: the Bible.

[The proposal] complains that curricula teaching that "the homosexual lifestyle is acceptable" are being implemented in public schools. It also criticizes a federal court ruling last year that banned the teaching of "intelligent design" — the notion that life is so complex it must have been created by a higher intelligence — in a Pennsylvania school system.

Thanks to Queerty for the story and this truly frightening image:

I feel like crying.

Aussie Bum And Then Some

Moon Walk

According to ultra-cool physicist Stephen Hawking, we gotta get outta here. Earth's not doing too hot — or rather, it is and that's exactly the problem. Basically we're overpopulated and the planet can't sustain our current (and growing) numbers. He recommends colonizing the moon by 2026 (cool!) and Mars 20 years later (awesome!) Otherwise, our species will probably get nearly wiped out by a disaster as has happened time and again in the animal kingdom when things get too cramped. I mean really that's the reason disease exists: to cap our numbers and prevent overpopulation. We like to think that we're at the top of every food chain, but those little bubonic microbes did a number on us in the Middle Ages.

Of course there's always the minor problem of the space colonies becoming a haven for the rich from the diseasse-ridden earth which bereft of all finances and technology could just be home to the poor, dying denizens unable or unwilling to leave the dying planet. Heh, sorry. Summer blockbuster season must be getting to me. I just really want to go to Mars.

Fox News Roasts A Bigot

Yeah, I'm as confused as you are. Shirley Phelps–Roper (WBC's spokesbitch) came back on Fox News for yet another horrifyingly hilarious interview. Honestly I don't think anyone can carry on a conversation with this bitch.

Oh, Unrev. Phelps, when will you just get used to the fact that you like cock so you can stop harassing the other homos, the soldiers and now the poor Fox News anchors. You know Shirley loves pussy too. Why else would she call her a bimbo?


Willing sex reportresses make Shirley hot.

Farmers' Market

Some analysts are saying mighty good things about Apple's stock. Evidently it's a good time to buy as they're predicting Apple's marketshare to triple.

In a recent survey commissioned by the firm, 8 percent of Windows users in the U.S home market said they would switch to a Mac if it could also run Windows. Such a shift in consumer preference would effectively increase Apple's share of the US and European home markets to 12.2 percent, the firm said.

I honestly hope they're wrong about that last figure. I like Apple's small user base. Apple's current ad campaign is clearly aimed at getting a much larger portion of the market. I just hope they don't get too much or else they may not be able to continue bragging about Apple's immunity to the filth of the internet.

Abu Madness

So. Abu Musab al–Zarqawi's a goner. We've certainly been flooded with images and reports of his death in recent days. This is probably very good news. It's certainly going to do a number on al–Qaeda's morale and (a key reason behind all the publicity) probably bring Bush's approval rating out of the gutter. There is another problem though which Zarqawi's death highlights fairly well. Since there aren't any WMDs and Bush won't admit to going in there for oil, he's still plugging his War on Terror. I really want to know how you can fight a war against an ideology, a tactic that utilizes human emotion to cause panic and destruction from within. It all seems very silly. It's about the same (some would argue it is exactly the same) as trying to eradicate a religion through force. 4000 years plus, seems to be a pretty good record for a religion that's been enslaved, abused, and hunted by a variety of bullies throughout the millenia. Maybe Bush thinks that because Islam is still the youngest of the western world's three major religions he'll have an easier time dealing with it, but I honestly don't think he's that stupid. And after all, he isn't specifically targeting Muslims. Just their fundies. (Why Christian fundies are given free reign is another issue for me to get worked up about on a later date.)

Anyway, the problem is that now Zarqawi's been replaced and they're already vowing revenge and we're already vowing prevenge on their revenge. The War on Terror is ultimately futile. Their leaders are not only replaceable but since they're playing this up as Christian West vs Muslim East, each leader we kill is only going to become a martyr for the cause, an example of a life well served in defense of their land and their religion. I suppose all my whining about this is also futile since I really don't have any idea what situation would yield the best outcome. Leaving would be foolish because then we'd be replacing Hussein's regime with a theocracy we don't like any more than it's governmental predecessor. If we stay, we'll continue the slow, arduous fight against a foe we can't beat.

P.S. I didn't mean for this to be much longer than a few sentences bitching about the war. Guess I got a little carried away.

Hi–Res X–Ray

I found this neat X-Ray of a Powerbook. Click to enlarge.

I'm always a little hesitant to put my lappy on the conveyors at airport screening but I haven't lost any data yet.

Adorability

Yay! More new Mac ads with Justin Long and John Hodgman! These feature Mac's ability to be run right out of the box, run Windows via Boot Kamp, and (once again) Mac's ability to do "fun" stuff like movies, blogs, and podcasts. And music.

From Out of the Box:

BJ Widget

I've made my first widget. A simple RSS feed reader (ATOM actually, but who's counting?) of this very blog. Nothing spectacular, but I'm only just starting this whole widget creation thing. As with all widgets, you'll need OS 10.4.x to run BJ Widget.

Marriage: Less Gay Than Beer

• Gay marriage ban fails in Senate
  
• Jon Stewart interviews bigot Bill Bennett about gay marriage
  

Regarding Jon Stewart's interview (and other relevant segments like his occasional "Gaywatch") I'm really impressed by how much he cares about the civil rights battles being fought for the gay community. That interview was fantastic. He got Bennett to agree that gay marriage was an inevitability. He's of course royally pissed about that cause now we're gonna have to give those mormons their third and fourth wives they've been asking for. Anyway, Jon made some great points that really made that blathering hate-monger look like a fool. It's funny though. I never realized how meaningless these debates are when they can't even agree on what's being asked for.

David Chaloub

The Report Turns 100

Colbert celebrates his 100th episode by showing all he's accomplished in the world since going on the air. As always ridiculously amusing. I also recommend reading his commencement address at Knox college.

And excerpt:

But the best reason for me to come to speak at Knox College is that I attended Knox College. This is part of my personal history that you will rarely see reported. Partly because the press doesn’t do the proper research. But mostly because—it is not true! I just made it up, so this moment would be more poignant for all of us. How great would it be if I could actually come back here—if I was coming back to my alma mater to be honored like this. I could share with you all my happy memories that I spent here in...Galesburg, Illinois. Hanging out at the Seymour Hall, right? Seymour Hall? You know, all of us alumni, we remember being at Seymour Hall, playing those drinking games. We played a drinking game called Lincoln-Douglas. Great game. What you do is, you act out the Lincoln-Douglas debate and any time one of the guys mentions the Dred Scott decision you have to chug a beer. Well, technically 3/5 of a beer.

Beer Still Isn't Queer

Please don't tell Coors.



Just to be fair, obscene lesbian advertising imagery under the jump. (Joking about the obscenity. Totally SFW.)


[via adrants]

Good News from Jeff City

One of the state's most trivial and least enforceable laws has been repealed. Well, it wasn't totally unenforceable. Evidently such laws can be abused beyond the fact that they exist.

Even though the law was unenforceable it has nevertheless been cited in other cases involving gays. The Missouri Department of Social Services used the old law as justification for refusing to allow a Kansas City lesbian from becoming a foster parent.

Whatever. I don't care about lesbians and their babies. This is good news. I guess. Tee hee.

From the Emo Prevention Network

Bush Defends Homophobia

Okay, Bush. You've definitely lost me. Scratch that, you never really had me. But did anyone else notice what happened about 2 minutes in? He rephrased/repeated exactly what he'd been saying for the last two minutes. And when he was done with that he did it again. A two minute speech dragged out to nearly 10 minutes just so the cameras can hear him say "activist judges" and "family values" again and again. For the love of America, will someone please stop letting George talk?

Transcript below the jump.

Thank you all. Thank you all. Please be seated.

Good afternoon and welcome to the White House. It is a pleasure to be with so many fine community leaders, scholars, family organizations, religious leaders, Republicans, Democrats, Independents. Thank you all for coming.

You come from many backgrounds and faith traditions, yet united in this common belief: Marriage is the most fundamental institution of civilization, and it should not be redefined by activist judges. (Applause.)

You are here because you strongly support a constitutional amendment that defines marriage as the union of a man and a woman, and I am proud to stand with you. (Applause.)

This week the Senate begins debate on the Marriage Protection Amendment, and I call on the Congress to pass this amendment, send it to the states for ratification, so we can take this issue out of the hands of overreaching judges and put it back where it belongs: in the hands of the American people. (Applause.)

The union of a man and woman in marriage is the most enduring and important human institution. For ages, in every culture, human beings have understood that marriage is critical to the well-being of families. And because families pass on values and shape character, marriage is also critical to the health of society. Our policies should aim to strengthen families, not undermine them -- and changing the definition of marriage would undermine the family structure.

America is a free society, which limits the role of government in the lives of our citizens. In this country, people are free to choose how they live their lives. In our free society, decisions about a fundamental social institution as marriage should be made by the people. (Applause.)

The American people have spoken clearly on this issue through their elected representatives and at the ballot box. In 1996, Congress approved the Defense of Marriage Act by large bipartisan majorities in both the House and the Senate, and President Clinton signed it into law. And since then 19 states have held referendums to amend their state constitutions to protect the traditional definition of marriage. In every case the amendments were approved by decisive majorities, with an average of 71 percent. (Applause.)

Today 45 of the 50 states have either a state constitutional amendment or statute defining marriage as a union of a man and a woman. These amendments and laws express a broad consensus in our country for protecting the institution of marriage. The people have spoken. Unfortunately, this consensus is being undermined by activist judges and local officials who have struck down state laws protecting marriage and made an aggressive attempt to redefine marriage.

Since 2004, state courts in Washington and California and Maryland and New York have ruled against marriage laws. Last year, a federal judge in Nebraska overturned a state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, an amendment that was approved by 70 percent of the population. And at this moment, nine states face lawsuits challenging the marriage laws they have on the books.

Some argue that defining marriage should be left to the states. The fact is, state legislatures are trying to address this issue -- but -- (applause) -- but across the country they are being thwarted by activist judges who are overturning the expressed will of their people. And these court decisions could have an impact on our whole nation.

The Defensive Marriage Act declares that no state is required to accept another state's definition of marriage. If that act is overturned by the courts, then marriage recognized in one city or state may have to be recognized as marriages everywhere else. That would mean that every state would have to recognize marriages redefined by judges in, say, Massachusetts or local officials in San Francisco no matter what their own state laws or their state constitutions say.

This national question requires a national solution. And on an issue of such profound importance, that solution should come not from the courts but from the people of the United States. (Applause.) An amendment to the Constitution is necessary because activist courts have left our nation with no other choice. When judges insist on imposing their arbitrary will on the people, the only alternative left to the people is an amendment to the Constitution -- the only law a court cannot overturn.

The constitutional amendment that the Senate will consider this week would fully protect marriage from being redefined. It will leave state legislatures free to make their own choices in defining legal arrangements other than marriage.

A constitutional amendment is the most democratic process by which our country can resolve this issue. In their wisdom, our Founders set a high bar for amending the Constitution. An amendment must be approved by two-thirds of the House and the Senate and then ratified by three-fourths of the 50 state legislatures.

This process guarantees that every state legislature and every community in our nation will have a voice and a say in deciding this issue. (Applause.) A constitutional amendment would not take this issue away from the states as some have argued. It would take the issue away from the courts and put it directly before the American people. (Applause.)

As this debate goes forward, every American deserves to be treated with tolerance and respect and dignity. (Applause.) Now on an issue of this great significance, opinions are strong and emotions run deep, and all of us have a duty to conduct this discussion with civility and decency toward one another. All people deserve to have their voices heard, and a constitutional amendment will ensure that they are heard. (Applause.)

I appreciate you taking an interest in this fundamental issue. It's an important issue for our country to debate and to resolve, and the best way to resolve this issue is to a constitutional amendment, which I strongly support.

God bless. (Applause.)

Free(ish) iPod Nano

Can't say I need either the computer or the iPod, but it's still a great deal. Also, in my home state, there's some sale in like August or something where they take an additional 15% off all consumer electronics. Or maybe they just get rid of the tax? Some bill was passed to promote education a few years ago. I don't remember exactly what the deal is. I just happened to buy my Powerbook on that day and I basically got my RAM upgrade for free. It was neat. I felt so silly refusing the free iPod offer they had. I already had a mini at the time and didn't need it. The rebate for the iPod, by the way, if you don't take it, goes towards the computer.

HIV Sucks

But so does this AIDS awareness campaign:

adverbox [via adrants]

Dragostean History

This bi-month's issue of Believer mag has a great article on the history of everyone's favorite song whose lyrics they don't understand, Dragostea Din Tei, better known as the Numa Numa song. It's actually really interesting to see how it wound its way across the globe before it wound up here. Definitely not what I expected.

Whippin' Out the Sega Tapes

No One Wants To Play Sega with Harrison Ford by Brandon Bird.

Check out more of his art which further badassifies other already badass individuals like Mr. T, Ed Norton (who gets his own anthology), Bea Arthur and Abe Lincoln. (Yes, Chuck Norris too.) I have so many new desktops right now it's not even funny.

Easily my favorite:

Found It!

Love Train – Wolfmother [download]

Steal Away, Matey

the Pirate Bay is back online!

Fortress of Solitude

For no other reason than that crystals are just awesome:

In what has proved to be the discovery of the largest known crystals on earth, work is underway to document and preserve this historic find. While some minor damage has already occurred in the primary cave and a secondary cavern, called Cave of Dreams, iron doors have been installed by the Peñoles company to prevent damage to the giant, magnificent crystals.

Where's Brandon Routh? Superman needs to be in that cave.
[more]

Skype Me, Bitchez

Old tech news (by about a month) but I only just got this to work for me so now I'm officially going to blog it. Skype announced last month that they were allowing people to make phone calls for free to any phone in the US and Canada from your computer. It's really really neat. You need a mic obviously and I recommend using headphones so the person you're calling doesn't hear an echo. Skype also offers basic voice over internet protocol which basically lets you have an audio chat with other people using skype. (Think of it as AIM, or MSN messenger but without text. It even has a buddy list.) You can download Skype here.

Eye Candy – New regular feature after the jump. If you have a problem with male models, don't bother clicking.

Eye Candy of the Week: Eugen Bauder