Stephen Colbert is a Golden God

This is one of my favorite youtube Google Videos of all time. Hope you like. The full video is linked here.

Weekend Ecstasy

• The Seven Deadly Sins are so very sweet.


• I am not pleased with apple's newest patent. The potential for hacker related abuse seems too great. Ah well privacy isn't exactly a priority in this country any more anyway. It's hellz neat.


• And finally, the picture/news story that made my week (click to enlarge):

YouFug

YouTube's new players are fucking ugly. That is all.

Church of the Mad Hatter

Someone posted this on a myspace bulletin. This bitch is insane. She even makes Sean Hannity sick. Granted he's pissed that she's insulting dead soldiers, but that's a perfectly legit reason to hate the bitch.

Oh yeah also, how clearly inbred is this Westboro Baptist Church? There's no such thing as naturally occuring fug on that level.

Ridic OC Parody

I am not a fan of The OC. (Nor am I a fan of my school's The BC, but I'll plug them anyway, cause the film studies department is gaining momentum.) That is why you must watch this OC parody. It gets a little insane at the end, but it's fine til Frazzle shows up. I think the funniest part is that it's not even really a parody so much as these guys mimicking the "acting abilities" of the OC cast. It's great. Enjoy.

Lonely List

Don't worry. That's not my actual buddy list. That's my Bonjour buddy list. It's still kinda pathetic looking, though. I mean look at that. I only have Libby to talk to and she, as you can see, is at Kanye's concert tonight. This is because she is evidently the only person in my building who both owns a Mac and uses iChat. Well, now you windows users have no excuse. Bonjour is very handy if you need to contact someone in the same building/on the same network. Someone try that out for me. I kinda want to know how well it works and what it looks like on Windows. Anyway, there's my mac post for the day.

This late night post brought to you by Starbuck's French Blend coffee.

Firefox Goodies

More beauty/efficiency tips for your Mac. This time we're gonna be fixing up Firefox. This wonderful fellow has optimized Firefox for G4, G5 and now Intel processored Macs. In addition to making Firefox run more smoothly, you can choose to use Safari's aqua pulldown menus, radio buttons, etc.

Old clunker.


New hotness.

Also, if you use any of these, here's a list of compatible extensions. I personally can't recommend any since I don't use any of the ones listed.

iChax aEsthetics

More beauty tips for your iChat! If you use Chax (and if you use iChat, you should be using Chax), you may have noticed much do your dismay that the mod I posted earlier to remove the borders from your chat windows was sacrificed for the increased efficiency of having tabbed chats.

Boo.

Three cheers for people who know how to use XCode tools! The borders are once again gone.

Enjoy.

Vaticondom

Spreken ze Deutsch! Schnell!

Sorry for the shitty translation, but basically once it's too late to do anything about your marriage partner, you can have him use a condom to save yourself. And of course in this instance we're defining marriage as hetero unions. (Can't really call them breeders if they're using godforsaken condoms, now can we?)

Well hopefully this will do some good in Africa. I'm not sure what the stats are on Catholics in Africa and then what percentage of them actually give a damn about the Church's sex laws. If there are any who care(d) this is certainly good news.

The Passion of the Fans

You know those dorks that wait in line for big budget fantasy films? Jesus has them too.

Support Music That Supports You

Kind of addicted to The Faint right now. Great mix of indie/electro pop/rock. What makes me even happier is that their record label is giving away boat loads of music (plus even more if you like Bright Eyes.) I emailed them to thank them for not screwing over customers with DRM and restrictive music distribution. I'm also going to go out and buy some of their CDs this weekend. Anyway, enjoy the music. Some of the remixes are really good.

The Lookalike Contest

According to this advanced facial recognition technology, I look like Richard Gere.

• Richard Gere – 64% (He is very old and not hot. I'm going to go kill myself.)
• Jon Bon Jovi – 56% (I'm not sure why he's still around, but whatever.)
• James Marsters - 53% (Ew. Spike from Buffy.)
• Brad Pitt – 50% (He looked hot in one movie; ew.)
• Robin Gibb – 50% (Yay, I look like Elton John's even more flaming little brother.)
• Clive Owen – 48% (Not bad, but the resemblence is just not there.)
• Matthew McConaughey – 48% (No complaints here. A much better pick than those square jawed fuckers up there.)
• Conan O'Brien – 48% (LOL)
• Ian Thorpe – 48% (I'm sorry, but my nose is not nor will it ever be that big.)
• Julie Andrews – 48% (Suh-weet.)

Try it out. Decide for yourself how well it works.

Lies and Redemption

Okay so I lied in my last post, and I have no audioblog to share with you. Instead, I've decided to jump on the bandwagon and dabble in podcasting! Thanks to Maggie for her help. Anyway, hope you enjoy. Not sure this is going to happen again, but it was fun while it lasted.

BJ Podcast #1 (runtime: 12'06)

Enjoy. And give feedback.

It's Coming...

Stay tuned tomorrow for the (possible) potential return of the audioblog (podcast?). It might be really cool.

Also, it is very late. I've been up listening to reversed audio tracks (taken from previous audioblogs) of myself talking. From listening to those older audioblogs I've realized two things.

1. I've gotten so much gayer since leaving St. Louis (or even since I started audioblogging).
2. I have serious, deep-seated issues with my mother. (Like you didn't already know.) Details to come.

Webcomic – Pon and Zi

While this specific comic may be funny, there are others that are just plain sappy. Look around though. There are some good ones.

Edit:


LOL

And again:

hahahahahhaha

Okay I'm done now. I swear.

Windows Le Tigre Vista

Thanks Byrne.

The Cool Jams - Set Yourself on Fire

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead – Stars

I honestly have no idea where I found this song (ourtunes?) but it's really good and I highly recommend it.

Neil Cavuto on South Park

"They continually go after Christianity and give a pass to others."
~some twat regarding South Park

The Video:


He's obviously unfamiliar with the episodes I mentioned after Isaac Hayes quit south park for making fun of Scientology (also, not a Christian religion). I love how boisterous, ignorant people are given microphones on Fox News Channel. God bless america! (After you're done crapping on our flag of course.)

Sorry for the sploodge of South Park coverage, but I find this all very amusing.

Update:
Uncensored picture of Jesus crapping on Bush and America:



Uncensored picture of Mohammed "looking normal" and "just standing there":

The Most Famous Cartoonist Whores

From the article:

A frequent "South Park" critic, William Donohue of the anti-defamation group Catholic League, called on Parker and Stone to resign out of principle for being censored.
"The ultimate hypocrite is not Comedy Central that's their decision not to show the image of Muhammad or not it's Parker and Stone," he said. "Like little whores, they'll sit there and grab the bucks. They'll sit there and they'll whine and they'll take their shot at Jesus. That's their stock in trade."

I'll bet Matt and Trey eventually give Comedy Central enough trouble that they get pulled. I'm sure they'll wind up somewhere else like Adult Swim or SpikeTV (ew). They've just been getting in more and more trouble recently. Best of luck Matt and Trey.

Also, check out Gander's impassioned opinion/analysis of the situation. 

Holy Crap

UPDATE: Video was taken down. Sorry kids.

So Matt and Trey got really pissed at something new this week. This time it's Comedy Central for not allowing them to show an image of Mohammed. (See previous post for last week's episode which showed a censored Mohammed in a Family Guy spoof). This week they go all out and crap on literally everyone. Enjoy.

Thanks to Boing Boing for bringing this to my attention. Can't wait to see when the full episode gets uploaded.

Björk is the Devil

Number verification code for downloading Björk's Play Dead:

One More Reason to Move to Europe

...especially if you live in the great state/commonwealth of Kentucky.

From the article:

the one the Governor announced today changes the state policy in a key way: Sexual orientation is no longer covered.
On a day and at a celebration honoring diversity, the Governor and our commonwealth have taken a giant step back. We had a law that guaranteed fairness in employment. Now we have one that promotes discrimination. "

So, Kentucky also managed to redefine diversity specifically as homo-hating since that's the only change that took place in this amendment. 

I'm losing all hope for this country. Honestly, we used to be the cool kids. Now we're easily on of the most backwards nations in the world. 

Quizno's-esque Firefox Ad

This reminds me of those creepy Quizno's ads with the gerbils from way back when. Also, I haven't plugged Firefox in forever so I felt this was necessary.


Thanks, um, Luner...

The Dell De-Dellifier

For those of you who may have made the mistake of buying a Dell from your school (I know my school offers a fantastic line of Dell's My First Laptop with fully functional, realistic blue screen of death and hardware malfunctions), I came across this niftly little app meant to clean all the unnecessary crap off your Dell. Evidently these "computers" (and I use the term very liberally) come preloaded with a bunch of needless applications and utilities which ultimately just slow down your stack of burning money Dell. Click here, and download. I realize it's hard/potentially lethal to make lemonade when the lemons are home–grown in Chernobyl, but do your best.

Personbook

I'm really not much of a facebook whore, but it's officially Easter break for me and with nothing better to do (everyone is leaving campus today) I decided I'd check it out. After scrolling through people's updated profiles and wonder what was updated and how people could do this with any regularity, I looked at the Pulse section which, for non-Facebookers (ie: the comatose individuals who just woke up) shows the current trends at your school and overall at every school. I found some of the statistics rather amusing and most of them to be thoroughly depressing. Take for instance, the "books" that are most popular overall:


How the Bible became popular among college kids I will never understand. It also doesn't make much sense that, since the Bible ranks at number 3, the Da Vinci Code comes in at number one. I'm not familiar with the book, but I seem to recall reviewers/friends who read it saying it has something to do with Jesus having sex with Lady Magdeline and the church conspiracy/coverup of that story.

Then of course there's Harry Potter. I realize facebook now includes high schools, but how could there be enough high schoolers out there that that would be popular? Aren't they all supposed to be illiterate or something? Worse yet, why is it the college kids are the semi-illiterate ones reading such fantastic pieces of fiction as the Da Vinci Code, Harry Potter, and The Bible? I guess this is just indicative of (really) bad taste more than anything else. Granted I'm speaking from having read only 6 of the above books, but I really don't like to waste my time readin pop novels. I was kinda turned off to The Da Vinci Code specifically after Dave Barry's review which I have not been able to find for a while. (His column on the Miami Herald's site is rather poorly designed.)

Finally, some good old fashioned sex-stats.

(The other 88% of male students are lying. Or in a relationship.)


Read: "5% of the male students are in the closet"

South Park Family Guy Spoof + MORE Chef Bashing

mp3 of the Month

Steal me

Catholic Friscans File Lawsuit Against First Amendment

Okay, so the Catholic church has (rightly) come under a lot of fire over its 2000ish years of existence. What with the Crusades, the Inquisition, the prohibition of science and thought, the absurd rituals, the mandatory belief in mythological stories, the molestation of little children by the leaders of the church (and the coverup thereof), etc. The list goes on and will only grow as the Catholic church continues to grace this planet. But really they haven't much complained about the criticisms. They've paid people off where they could, apologized for other mistakes, and generally ignored other complaints because they feel perfectly justified in having made them.

They've been even better at criticizing other groups themselves. Henry VIII, Martin Luther, Galileo, Jews, pagans, homosexuals, people capable of independent thought, and virtually every government on the face of the earth for breaching some intrinsic Catholic doctrine. From banning condoms even from AIDS ridden Africa to the chiding the last 3 or so presidents for allowing abortion, they are very by the book. Anything not by the book will get nasty nasty letters from the new Fuhrer Pope. What really pisses me off is that while millions are dying of AIDS in Africa, they'll make an exception to a much older rule about not eating meat on Lent so that every fucking drunken Irishman on the planet can eat his corned beef. (I only just discovered this article and can't begin to explain to you my ire at the Catholic church's hypocricy.)

And of course, continuing that tradition of hypocricy (and we all know how important Tradition is to Catholics), they've filed a lawsuit (ab)using a law meant to keep them (and all other religious groups) from gaining any political power while simultaneously attacking that same amendment which provides each and every one of us with the right to speak our minds.

From the article:

SAN FRANCISCO - A Catholic civil rights group sued the San Francisco Board of Supervisors for allegedly violating the separation of church and state by criticizing the Roman Catholic Church's position on adoption by gay couples.

Dear Catholic Church,
I intensely hate you more and more each day. Consider this entire post a criticism of every fiber of your being. Please sue me.

With utmost sincerety and loathing,
Peter

MacBook Woes

• AirPort does not automatically rejoin a preferred network after waking up from sleep mode. This does not happen with my PowerBook. Settings are the same.
• AirPort would drop down to nearly 1 block randomly once in a while. This also does not happen with my PowerBook.
• At the lowest screen brightness setting (one block), the LCD's backlight flickers noticeably. This is pretty annoying.
• Heat is a big issue. The MacBook Pro gets so hot that I cannot place it on my lap if I'm wearing shorts. And even if I am wearing pants (instead of shorts), it's still very uncomfortable. Using the AC power, the palm rest area becomes very warm, and the area above the F keys is very hot. I do not notice this with the PowerBook.

Don't worry though. They're replacing/fixing them.

First Downloadable Full Length Movie Is Really Gay

From the article:

On Tuesday, the Oscar-winning gay cowboy drama will help Hollywood embrace the brave new world, becoming the studios' first major title to debut as a download-to-own movie on the same day it's out on DVD.

While the move is a nod to the iTunes revolution, Brokeback will be available on Movielink.com, the online service jointly owned by MGM, Paramount, Sony, Universal and Warner Bros.

Movie Link, however, is a fucking bitch.

From Movielink.com:

Sorry, but as of May 2, 2005, Movielink no longer supports Windows 98 and ME operating systems.
Movielink also does not support Mac or Linux.

In order to enjoy the Movielink service, you must use Windows 2000 or XP,
which support certain technologies we utilize for downloading movies.

Or...

Dear Mac Users (ie the people most likely to buy Brokeback Mountain online as the first download-to-own film)

Fuck you.

The Assistant Staff of MovieLink.com
(official staff is currently bending over in Bill Gates's executive lounge)

Presidential Speechalist Interview

This interview is just amazing. I really see the geniusery behind what the President is trying to accomplish whenever he opens his mouth. And even when he doesn't! Harlan McCraney, you are a god. Keep writing fabulous speeches.

Fools All Year Round

From the site:

We are a Christ Centered, Bible believing Ministry and our goal is to spread the Gospel through our unique clown performance in churches and community venues through the United States. In addition to our performance we also teach a professional level of clowning to all Christian clowns as well as clowns in training...

We can come to your church or community event and face paint, twist animal balloons and/or do a fun filled stage program. Our stage program runs from about 30 minutes to 1 hour and can be made to fit in your schedule. We can also do VBS or Children Crusades. Our program is very up beat and can reach children from 5 to 85.

Clowns are evidently now training the militant christian children in preparation for the Crusades 2.0. Many infidels will succumb to the wrath of their cream pies and squrity flowers. They will have no choice but to shake hands with their future Lord Jesus "Mr. Biggles" Christ, who of course will be wearing a buzzer ring, and who can magically miraculously produce balloon animals from his wounds.

From the Makers of Technology

Having a slim face as a Japanese women is considered as a rare beauty feature. So that's why they made this Slimming Face Mask. The mask works by putting it over your face and letting contact pressure do its job. It also acts as a sauna for your face. That way you can sweat the fat off your damn face.










Japan has some funky tasting drink products, and the salad flavored water proves that fact. It looks like this water salad comes in many nasty flavors like cool ranch, fat-free Italian, and vinegar and garbage. Just kidding! I don't know what flavors it comes in, but it probably makes your poop change colors.










How in the hell can the Japanese make these square watermelons? I can't see a field in which these bad boys would grow in. Oh wait! I just remembered the Japanese have special powers, and probably have magical seeds that can grow this stuff. I just hope they don't use their seeds to make square bananas.









More here

I/O Brush

No idea what this is or how it works, but it is awesome. Watch the video.

Website of the Week

Unbefuckinglievable. Thrown together by the US Government.
[thanks, Wonkette]