53nd 1n l3 [l00n5

I've given up feeling sorry for the 30-something year-old moron who teaches the first graders. She's a lost cause. I really feel sorry for those kids. They clearly are not learning. Then they are expected to be nice to each other when their teachers are setting an example very similar to the kindness Al Pacino's character showed Fredo in the Godfather. One of them came up to the teachers desk to ask for an eraser and the teacher shouted as if the kid had asked if she could pretty please have the teacher's valuables plus the deed to her car, "No! You will not get an eraser now sit down!" I was again disappointed with the teacher's illiteracy when she for the third time mispronounced "sonar." Here is an actual conversation that took place during an intermission of idiocy in the story. Miss Calabria is in a folding chair surrounded by an audience of first graders and myself while Mrs. Grumble sits off to the side behind the semicircle of children at her desk filling out papers so she can become a certified dumb-ass, meanie teacher.

Miss Calabria: "...hyoom....hyuoomonji?....hyoomonjius?" [pleadingly looks to Mrs. Grumble]
Mrs. Grumble: "Is it humongous?"
Miss Calabria: "No. I mean I don't think so."
Mrs. Grumble: "I think it's humongous. Berny, look at that and tell me if you concur." [trying to sound smart]
Miss Calabria: "Good idea. That's not humongous is it?"
Berny: [looks at the page] "Actually, that's pretty humongous."
Miss Calabria: "Oh..." [sits down, laughs] "Aren't you glad you'll have a story to tell your friends?"

One final Magic School Bus episode: Miss Calabria slipped and said that Ranger Mike "pinched his tit" instead of pitching his tent. Well whatever keeps Ranger Mike's raft afloat, I always say. I almost hope the strike happens so that the substitutes will take over. Even they must be better than what the kids have now.

I heard a funny story recently which I feel like sharing here, because my post is too short and I need filler (aka SPAM). All clownaphobes should be warned: the content in this tale contains graphic descriptions of clowns or otherwise clown-like figures. The name shave been changed to protect those whose lives were devasted by the tragedy. The story: Barbie was babysitting for her neighbors' children while they went out for a night on the town. She was watching TV with the kids when she noticed a clown bust on a shelf. She told the kids it looked creepy and they said that it scared them too. She put the kids to bed an hour or so later and called their father saying they'd gone to sleep without any trouble. Then she asked him if she could cover the clown head with a blanket or something because it was very frightening. The father interrupted and urgently told her, "Get the kids and get out of the house now!" She did so while their father called the police. When they got there, they found that a man who had recently escaped a mental institution had been living in their attic for the last 12 days dressed as a clown. He occasionally came downstairs in the clown suit and had left his mask on the shelf. The moral of the story is: the next time you are staring at a clown in a little child's room or on your way to the fridge for a midnight snack, just remember that maybe, just maybe, there's a crazy man behind that mask staring right back at you wondering which way you'll run.

Note: I heard this story on the internet so it is entirely unverifiable and probably untrue. Creepy nonetheless. Have a nice day and hug a clown.

l473r.