Bernal Jernal

Happy Anniversary 1/365

2007-09-19T23:32:00.000-04:00

I've had my job for a year and a day. Ah, what a wonderful time it's been. :-)

I love my job

2007-09-06T11:41:00.000-04:00

I just purchased this fabulous Joseph Abboud laptop bag. 50% off because I work for Apple. I also just bought and Airport Express which will hopefully come in handy when Comcast comes tomorrow to connect me once again to the vastness of the Intertubes.

NB: The little critter next to the bag is Trump, Monster.com's mascot. A gift from dearest Tan when he got his new job.

From My Professor's Email To the Class

2007-09-05T11:04:00.000-04:00

"You will need a Realone video player to use the video links…"

Damn.

I think I need more coffee in my diet

2007-09-05T09:17:00.000-04:00

I must have been exhausted last night. I couldn't find my keys this morning. I have two sets and the second I knew I left in my jacket so it wasn't really a problem. When I was ready to head off to classes, I walked out the door and my earphones got caught on the door. Specifically they caught on the keys I left in the doorknob. I think my unconscious self is trying to get me killed.

The "Fun" Begins Again

2007-09-04T10:09:00.000-04:00

As I mentioned earlier, no Internet access at home. I'm at school right now and after exclusively using the iPhone for days, the tactile response of an actual keyboard is rather surreal. It feels wrong.

Classes start today. I am slightly hung over and my throat is sore from all the cigarettes I smoked last night. Clearly I hate myself. I just have one class on Tuesdays / Thursdays, so I think I'll be okay.

I don't care if you don't watch this video

2007-09-03T13:55:00.000-04:00

The song, however, you must listen to.

Download the mp3 here.

End of Summer

2007-09-01T17:07:00.000-04:00

So I just moved into my new studio. I like it a lot. It needs some furnishing bit I think I can get out to IKEA fairly soon. The bad news is that (except for AT&T's underappreciated EDGE) I'm without Internet access. Thank Steve for iPhone. Anyway if you'd like pictures of my entirely bare apartment, see here and go to the iPhone uploads gallery.

Spoilt

2007-07-22T01:21:00.000-04:00

I just got this shirt from threadless. I'm a big fan both of the design and content. I was worried that I might have to edit it after the release of the new Harry Potter book, but according to the wikipedia entry on Dumbledore, which I'm assuming has been edited by the crazies who stayed up til midnight to buy a copy of the book, read it twice while driving home and then blog about how they totally knew that would happen to Snape / Harry / whomever. (Interesting, pertinent article via boingboing.)

Oh, and for some HP shits, giggles and pretty much everything that is wrong with the world, be sure to check out his eponymous entry on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Be careful. Some of the links on there might get you fired and / or your computer seized.

P.S. Retroactive spoiler alert. : )

OH HAI

2007-07-21T22:02:00.000-04:00

Your Score: Ceiling Cat
47% Affectionate / 48% Excitable / 46% Hungry

You are a master of stealth. They never see you coming. But you always see them coming. HEY-O! To see all possible results, checka dis.
Link: The Which Lolcat Are You? Test

Most Irritating Song

2007-06-25T20:35:00.000-04:00

James Blunt's You're Beautiful was voted most irritating song of all time. Finally. It's a shame that song raked in as much money as it did. Only the brain dead American public could appreciate being told they're beautiful that many times.

IN UR WITE HOUSE STEALIN UR TUNEZ

2007-06-22T09:05:00.000-04:00

I really want this to happen. Totally a win-win situation; either the Bush's are forced to defend themselves against Them, or they lose money to Them and are humiliated. Further.

S-M-R-T

2007-06-22T08:54:00.000-04:00

Generally birth order theories are just bad science, but I decided I'd pull a Templeton Foundation and post this story because it makes me looks smarter. (Not that I had much in the way of competition.) Anyway, apparently the Norwegians have found that first-borns are the smartest. They don't say why, but that really doesn't matter. I personally won't waste my immense brain power on such trivial matters. I have the world's problems to solve. Or mine in the meantime.

Also, I think the BBC should have censored this part of the story: "A Norwegian team found first born children and those who had lost elder siblings and had hence become the eldest, scored higher on intelligence." First of all, obviously if the smartest is dead, the next smartest is technically the smartest. And what's an envious not-quite-as-smart younger sibling to do about it? Kill their big brother / sister! Those Norwegians may be all about fratricide, but I have my reservations about most or all "-cides".

The DDR Possibilities are Endless

2007-06-20T18:49:00.000-04:00

Thanks to FakeSteve for this one.

Scrobbling

2007-06-19T01:14:00.000-04:00

I recently joined last.fm and it is my latest internet addiction. Now you can see what I'm listening to at all times. How cool is that? There's a little chart in my sidebar here, or you can go to last.fm to see my profile with plenty of (embarrassing?) details about the music I listen to.

i fit iron dick

2007-06-14T12:18:00.000-04:00

If you're looking for a good pseudonym, nothing beats a bad anagram. This fun anagram generator can help you out. Some of my personal favorites:

hampered brenner art
barnhard preen meter
bernhard rape me rent

2007-06-11T20:39:00.000-04:00

Google docs and spreadsheets now work in Safari 3.0! How exciting.

PicsL

2007-06-10T02:14:00.000-04:00

That's a great name for a web2.0 startup, don't you think? Anyway Boing Boing posted a link to a really fun website that takes Flickr images collages them into an image you upload. The result:
(click for supercool full res)
Link

I am a tool

2007-06-07T14:39:00.000-04:00

After months of silently and cynically detesting the high school (and college) kids who walk into Apple Stores taking pictures of themselves and uploading them onto myspace / facebook (not any more!), I've caved and purchased an iSight of my own. And of course now I'm doing what just what everyone else with and iSight and Photo Booth does.
NB: the cityscape behind me is a poster left behind by the rentees of the house I'm living in. Neat, huh? If you have a Mac with an iSight (built-in or not) you should also consider iGlasses. It'll allow you to adjust the brightness, whitepoint balance, color, hue, temperature and a variety of other image manipulations. It's a fantastic piece of software.

I'm not sure how this happened, but one of my coworkers talked me into purchasing Pokémon Diamond for the DS. I loved the original Pokemon game and this one is just as fun. You start out with a choice of three new Pokemon. I of course selected mine based on which looked the coolest and I figured a monkey with fire coming out of it's ass would be pretty intimidating. The other options were a little plant/turtle and bird. My favorite by far is this little bean thing which uses an attack called "Water Sport".

So. Pokémon and Photo Booth. I'm mentally regressing to the level of a(n American) high schooler. Yikes.

Map of Parts of US I Like the Least

2007-05-29T18:46:00.000-04:00

Check out this cool tornado map. It's funny that most of Missouri is on an island of relative tornadic infrequency.

i can has ds lite?

2007-05-29T16:43:00.000-04:00

Yay, my Nintendo DS finally came! I can officially say that boredom will never be a part of my life. I've got New Super Mario Bros. right now. I haven't touched a video game in years so I'm not sure what else is good. I'll poke around.

Wonderbra for your crotch!

2007-05-28T19:40:00.000-04:00

This is quite possibly my favorite Gizmodo post of all time. I love Australians. Not sure how I feel about their white Oprah.

I Believe in Harvey Dent

2007-05-22T13:56:00.000-04:00

I'm kind of loving the new viral marketing campaign for Batman: The Dark Knight. See here for a few laughs.

Moving On

2007-05-16T16:06:00.000-04:00

In the news this week, I have moved in to my new apartment. More of a house, really, but apartment sounds more college so I'll stick with that. I'd show you pictures but I lost the USB cable to my camera and it's too dark to take pictures with my cell phone. I'd go and buy lights for my room however the current weather conditions aren't cooperating. It's a nice room with its own bathroom where I met an 8 legged roommate and nearly ran screaming out of the shower. (Spiders are on my shit list.) Aside from that, the room looks pretty nice. I've got a great living room with couches! No TV yet, but that's on my list of stuff to get once Apple starts giving me the extra hours.

But Cheese Is My Anti-Drug

2007-05-14T08:37:00.000-04:00

We are out of good names for recreational / potentially lethal drugs. Here's the wikipedia article on it's emergence.

Almost Done

2007-05-03T16:34:00.000-04:00

I'm done with classes! I'm almost a Junior. Yikes.

Also, I have an apartment for the summer! Sorry St. Louis crew. I'll probably be visiting on the 4th of July or something so you will get to have a few good days this summer. Maybe more.

Baldwin's Voicemail

2007-05-03T12:23:00.000-04:00

Amusing, right? Or am I just bored?

Unhooked

2007-05-03T12:19:00.000-04:00

This has the potential to be my favorite news story this year. I can't wait to find out who's banged her. I'm betting more than half are Republicans.

He Is Risen Indeed

2007-05-03T11:47:00.000-04:00

This was one of the pieces my professor selected to be included in a collection of our class's work currently hanging in the art library at my school. I enjoyed making it. Also included were these and that silly Valentine I made that my professor loved.

Psghetti Psalm

2007-05-02T08:08:00.000-04:00

Today I offer my thanks and praise to the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster
For He is both great and good.
He foresaw my plight
And today I only work a 4 hour shift.

I am so dead right now.

Beautiful and Deadly

2007-05-02T04:18:00.000-04:00

story and photos here

Webbellion 2.0

2007-05-02T00:47:00.000-04:00

If you haven't heard, Digg is on fire. See here for the story. And here for the laughs. And here for more.

Here's the wikipedia entry on Digg. Notice it doesn't mention the story and has been locked. The wiki entry on the code itself has been deleted and (rather ironically) still contains the code.

EDIT: I posted this at 12:50 on May 2. Any bets on how soon I get a takedown notice?

RE-EDIT: HD LOLCATS

Further Procrasturbation

2007-05-01T14:36:00.000-04:00

Oh my god yes! Free Comic Book Day is almost here! I missed out last year, but I'll be headed to Newbury comics this saturday. Because I need something else to keep me from doing work. Here's a list of the available comics.

iGoogle and Madness

2007-05-01T11:19:00.000-04:00

I'm under a lot of stress right now. 10 pages of stress plus research. I only just decided on the topic of this paper an hour ago. (I'm already 1/10 done!) Anyway, I decided to take a study break to show and tell you how much I love Google's recently renamed iGoogle. I've used it for a while but could never figure out the last /ig bit. What's really neat (aside from the plethora of widgets available) are the themes ("styles") to make it look pretty. I'm currently in love with this adorable little fellow who plays in his pond with the frog king every day. So the moral of the story is, change your homepage.

Also, now when you create new tabs on the page, it will add widgets associated with the title of the tab. For instance, I just created a "School" tab and it added wikipedia, google translator, and a calculator widget. While many of these have since been rendered useless by Quicksilver, it is the thought that counts. (I do like and use the to do list and Shakespearean insult widgets.)

Half Birthday Wish List

2007-04-24T16:27:00.000-04:00

Here's a good idea for those of you shopping for my upcoming half birthday. Not much time left. Order now. (The money goes to the National Alliance on Mental Illness!)

Cthulu [sic]

2007-04-24T14:39:00.000-04:00

Bullet Time Survey Answers

2007-04-24T13:56:00.000-04:00

I just took part in a study on video games' effect on aggression. My observations:

Max Payne is too complicated
the X-Box's controller is too complicated
the game's graphic novel-style cutscenes were my favorite part yet influenced the game little
the questionaire did a poor job of analyzing aggression

For instance, we had to fill in the blanks of words to complete them.
"ki_ _" and "b_h_ _ _" became "kiss" and "behave." I wasn't sure which way I wanted to skew the statistics so I used those instead of "kill" and "behead." I did consider going the other way and taking something like "b_e" (which I filled in as "bee"), scratching it out and writing in blood (not mine) "I SHALL DEVOUR YOUR FIRSTBORN."

Some of the other questions seemed to be directed at how engrossed I was in the game / how aware I was of my surroundings. (For a while I was watching someone else play the game in the reflection on my screen. It was also interesting to listen to how quickly the others progressed based on the cutscenes' dialogue.)

The O'Reilly Delusion

2007-04-24T00:05:00.000-04:00

Wonderful (but brief) interview with Dawkins on the Factor. O'Reilly admits that his reality is different from everyone else's. Otherwise, they were generally quite civil to each other. I also got the impression Dawkins is getting tired of the interviews. He seemed kind of out of it. I was surprised he didn't mention this in response to Bill's argument about Stalin. I'm pretty sure I've heard him use it before.

The Name's Bond

2007-04-23T01:10:00.000-04:00

Daniel Craig as 007. Made "entirely in photoshop." I think I'll remove the black vignette when it's time to hand in the final. It looks awful.

For some reason when I first uploaded it, Bond was blue. Thought you'd enjoy the latest double agent in the Blue Man Group.

founded ur page

2007-04-21T11:54:00.000-04:00

cheezsurver back online lol

Translucent Carbonite

2007-04-20T10:42:00.000-04:00

I love these cool / creepy glass paitnings. See the full gallery here.

The OK Corral

2007-04-20T10:07:00.000-04:00

Okay, kind of shooting a dead horse here, but this is quite important. I found a story about a Georgia city that actually mandated each house have a gun. People predicted "Wild Wild West" showdowns. Murder. Chaos. Anarchy. Etc.

Not one person in the town has been shot since the law was enacted. The population has exploded and crime has plummeted. Very important as most of the other statistics I mentioned earlier just show that banning guns does nothing to reduce crime. Evidently having guns does. I'm seriously done now. See the story here. Previous post here.

Stupid 101

2007-04-20T09:47:00.000-04:00

"He will change his thinking so scripture fits perfectly."

- Dumb bitch at coffee shop on Augustine of Hippo

Why are these people allowed to teach? And why is the guy she's talking to hanging on her every word? Maybe he wants in her pants.

Middle East Park

2007-04-19T16:28:00.000-04:00

I love that this show has the Cartman look-alike in the most ethnically Middle Eastern garb. I'm not sure what to make of the fact that the newscaster is animated in the same style as Saddam. Oh what I'd do for some subtitles.

Dawkins Prepares for Bar Fight

2007-04-19T16:15:00.000-04:00

O'Reilly will be interviewing Dawkins this Monday. I'm warming up the, uh, ~~betamax~~ VCR now.

No Guns. No Problem.

2007-04-19T11:18:00.000-04:00

In light of the recent VT massacre and subsequent discussions of gun control (here and personally on various chat protocols), I thought I'd point out an article in the UK's Guardian which outlines some fo the problems of gun control laws. Here's a snippet:

Handgun crime has soared past levels last seen before the Dunblane massacre of 1996 and the ban on ownership of handguns introduced the year after Thomas Hamilton, an amateur shooting enthusiast, shot dead 16 schoolchildren, their teacher and himself in the Perthshire town.

It was hoped the measure would reduce the number of handguns available to criminals. Now handgun crime is at its highest since 1993.

[source]

Indeed, according to the BBC, the number of firearms deaths has doubled in spite of both the gun ban and increased police forces.

Closer to home, Morgan Reynolds found the following:

In 1976, Washington, D.C., enacted one of the most restrictive gun control laws in the nation. Since then, the city's murder rate has risen 134 percent while the national murder rate has dropped 2 percent. Defenders of the Washington law say it isn't working because criminals are getting guns in Virginia, where the laws are more relaxed. But just across the Potomac River, Arlington, Va., has a murder rate less than 10 percent of that of Washington (7.0 murders versus 77.8 per 100,000 population). Can the difference be explained by the fact that Washington is a large city? Virginia's largest city, Virginia Beach, has a population of nearly 400,000, allows easy access to firearms - and has had one of the country's lowest murder rates for years (4.1 per 100,000 population in 1991).

[source]

That last statistic is key because it provides a wonderful contrast between two cities with nearly opposite gun control laws, fairly reasonably demonstrating that cities that restrict people's ability to acquire a firearm have higher rates of crime. It's well nigh criminal to suggest that America should further restrict access to firearms when all the data indicate this will increase violent crime.

The last bit of evidence I'll leave you with is a little easier to swallow than the statistics I've quoted so far. It's yet another episode of one of my all-time favorite shows, Bullshit! It's a pretty blatant emotional appeal, but it does a good job considering her story sounds nearly identical to the descriptions of Cho's mass execution at VT. And that the school just this year banned firearms.

I recommend watching the other clips from that episode you'll find strewn about YouTube and Google Video.

INVISIBLE EVERYTHING

2007-04-19T01:25:00.000-04:00

If you share my particularly bizarre sense of humor, you are probably equally disappointed that lolcats wondersite, I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER is temporarily down as their digg-induced traffic is straining their servers. They're switching to wordpress which means I'm left lolcatless for days. Will no one fill the void? I need a cat of my own. Maybe next year.

Clean-Up, Aisle Five

2007-04-18T21:20:00.000-04:00

Why couldn't Cho have been this smart? If he wanted to show disdain for materialistic consumption, what could have been more appropriate than self-immolation in a Wal-Mart? Stupid little twat.

EDIT: Also, as I'm sure you've heard or will hear, he released a video to NBC which has since been forwarded to the FBI. And in it, I am not in the least bit shocked to find that he "discussed his religion and his hatred of the wealthy." See more here

Pre-Junior Preparations

2007-04-18T12:14:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I registered for Junior year classes already. Yikes! I hate that time seems to speed up as you age. I feel like I've been a Sophomore for a few months. It's been eight. Anyway, I finally had an uneventful course registration! I'm so excited. I have classes next semester. Three major requirements, one core, and one (potentially very interesting) elective.
I like that only one of my courses has a room scheduled. The rest are in limbo.

Just A Reminder

2007-04-18T12:11:00.001-04:00

If you're not talking today, you're part of the problem.

Shit, They're Learning. We're Doomed.

2007-04-17T09:45:00.000-04:00

I use adblockers on every browser but Camino. I don't see ads. I'm in fact continually shocked that I don't recognize familiar sites like facebook or even reddit any more when I see them on other people's browsers. Well today I was again shocked (and impressed) with Cingular's newest unblockable internet ad campaign. It's quite ingenious to tile your logo as a background image. It's unblockable! Well, not really, but it would be annoying to even have an extension on, say, Firefox to block all background images. You win, Cingular / at&t. You win this round.

I should mention that the only site I actually turn off my adblocker is Google whose wonderful, unobtrusive contextual ads I hope are the way of the future in online advertising. They don't scream, hiss, buzz, or talk to / at you.

Creeps Me Out / Year Zero

2007-04-12T19:04:00.000-04:00

Jeez, I have no idea how I missed this one. Ima Robot is a great band out of LA. I think they sound a little like the Buzzcocks's early stuff. Anyway, they came out with an album last year which I somehow didn't hear about. I haven't downloaded the full album yet, but the lead single Creeps Me Out is really fun. Feel free to sample / purchase here.

Also, if you haven't heard Nine Inch Nails' new single on their forthcoming album, do so. Very different from their previous stuff. Very good. I do suggest, however, that you be careful how you get it, because apparently the RIAA has a problem with viral marketing campaigns they sign off on. If you'd like to legally purchase Survivalism, do so here.

EDIT:
Hah! What a coincidence. Boing Boing just posted Reznor's response to the RIAA's ridiculousness. Read Year Zero's other satirical warnings here.

Identity

2007-04-10T17:17:00.000-04:00

I still remember seeing this episode of SVU. I think it was last summer when all USA network did was have marathons of SVU, Monk, and House. I was particularly impressed with how well the writers managed to come up with such a completely fucked up case with a villain so contemptable and vile that it could only exist in the realm of fiction. Unfortunately, however, I just discovered that it is, in fact, based entirely on the true story of David / Brenda / Bruce Reimer and his twin Brian. (My roommate is reading David's biography for his child development class.) They ended the episode rather apruptly as SVU usually does after unequivocatingly aprehending the culprit, but the real ending to the story is actually much more tragic. This is quite possibly the saddest story I've ever heard.

One If By Land

2007-04-07T13:10:00.000-04:00

My brother was just asked to prom. His date's MO: throwing a (stolen) owl lawn ornament onto the roof outside my room. The owl was carrying a message a la the messenger owls of the Harry Potter universe. Crazy bitch couldn't even throw her invitation owl at the right room. At least she didn't throw an actual owl.

Must Have Bath Toy!

2007-04-07T01:39:00.000-04:00

Buy them for your best friends / worst enemies!

The Glory of Mother America

2007-04-02T18:01:00.000-04:00

My latest art and digital tech project was to create a 4 page spread of a book or magazine. I decided to go for an art book of sorts with constructivist style propaganda posters for the Bush administration. I decided this fairly recently, too. We were given the assignment two weeks ago and the one I worked on teh first week ended up reeking of poop, so I scrapped it and went with this one. Anyway here are a few of the images.

I wasn't a big fan of the font I ended up using (Braggadocio) and was very close to purchasing some of these fonts. I could see them being useful later so I may still get them.

The Making of a Zealot

2007-03-29T15:17:00.000-04:00

"He's constantly getting stoned."

- my Biblical Studies (BS) professor on Paul of Tarsus

Headline of the Year

2007-03-28T10:29:00.000-04:00

I'd link to this story, but the Republicans at my school (like Republicans in general) aren't very web savvy and haven't updated their paper's website since last year. Anyway, as I was walking to class the other day, I spotted a copy of their rag, The Obsesrver. It was drenched in a puddle or I'd have saved it. The headline was "Panel Explores Vagina." Classic conservatism, no? Anyway, I apologize again that I can't show you the article online. Hopefully this will make up for it.

Best Apple Discussion Thread Ever

2007-03-26T13:19:00.000-04:00

I'm praying to the meaty sauces of the FSM that this story is true:

I have this old cat that likes to sleep on my iBook while I'm not using it. I have set the screensaver to require a password in order to prevent her from entering random keystrokes into the documents I leave open while I'm away.

However, I've noticed that while the computer is still in the screensaver when I return, she has somehow managed to circumvent the password and, among other things, rename my hard drive, execute complex keystroke combinations changing my system settings and save over documents which I have minimized.

Link

Sex Is The Enemy

2007-03-26T12:38:00.000-04:00

Check this out (and here with video). Basically, the fundies are grabbing their daughters and taking them to a joyless pseudo-prom where they promise to make sure the daughter doesn't get any action until she's married. It's all very twisted and to top it all off, they give it a wonderful name like "The Purity Ball." I really don't even know what to say about these people any more. I'm more than a little creeped out, but at the same time they're exactly the people who shouldn't be breeding anyway, so maybe it'll all work out for the best.

Be Happy. Be Hateful. And Stop Breeding.

2007-03-23T10:44:00.000-04:00

A Neuqua Valley High student wants to wear a shirt the day after the day of silence. The shirt will read "Be Happy. Be Straight." Or something. (Link to the article.) She's filing a lawsuit now because she wants to wear the shirt but the school won't let her. Frankly, I think we should let her. Her message is silly and highlights the foolish arguments employed by the ignorant religious people in this country who think they can control the rest of us and our sex lives. (Plus there's the whole free speech thing.) She should be allowed to wear her shirt if the gays can wear their own shirts ("Stop overpopulation. Start having gay sex." / "Good Christians don't use the pill. Neither do lesbians." etc.) on their own day as a replacement for the thoroughly unproductive day of silence. Everyone gets a fallacious, argumentative t-shirt day. Everybody wins.

New Favorite Blag - Fake Hillary

2007-03-23T10:11:00.000-04:00

I've found my new favorite blog. The Secret Diary of Hillary Clinton is exactly what it says it is. And it is clearly authored by Hillary herself. No doubt about it. Just look at her latest entry:

"So Jimmy Carville asked me last night, "What would you do if Bill found out he had incurable cancer?" My answer: "Bill who?" Ha! Do you get it? No really, if Bill had incurable cancer I'm sure I wouldn't just go celebrate right away. First I'd pray that it was testicular cancer so we could have his balls cut off. Then I'd hold some kind of pious press conference where I'd make him come out and say how he wanted me to stay in the race and how he wasn't going to let his cancer get in the way of my pursuing my dreams. Then I'd make sure he started really looking like shit in public, wasting away, and I'd have lots of photo opps of me taking care of him at home..."

It goes on. I recommend reading it. It may have just swayed my opinion of her. Hillary for Oh Eight!

Flickr Find - Blue Dragon

2007-03-21T10:42:00.000-04:00

Wonderful picture of a beautiful blue water dragon. [flickr link]

Red Side of the Moon

2007-03-04T18:40:00.000-05:00

The Martian Moon
Check out the BBC's photo collection from last night's lunar eclipse (which I missed because of work.)

Life In Cartoon Motion

2007-03-01T16:32:00.000-05:00

Mika - Life in Cartoon Motion

You absolutely must listen to this album before you die. It's easily one of the best albums I've ever heard. I should probably warn you that it's by British pop artist Mika. Don't let that turn you off to it though. This isn't at all the pop music we've gotten used to in the States. This is what pop music should be. Stylistically, it's kind of a mix of the Beatles' poppier songs, Queen, The Scissor Sisters, and well, Mika who certainly deserves some credit for his own brand of subtly sophisticated pop music. (He claims to be influenced also by Beck, Rufus and Elton. That last one's dead on.)

Seriously though, if you're ever in a bad mood, pop in this CD. After the first track (Grace Kelly - youtube) you will feel like you've just taken a hit of purest ecstasy. Each song is magnificent, which I've found is quite a rare. (Maybe it's just me but even for artists I really like, there's usually a few kick-ass songs, and the rest are mediochre at best.) Please. Do yourself a favor. Buy this album.

Ass and Georges

2007-03-01T16:23:00.000-05:00

I'll preface this by saying that my art class opens with a crit of last week's assignment and then the professor explains various techniques we can use. We're all standing for part 1 but for the latter part we're sitting in front of Macbook Pros. (The most basic ones too. Cheap school.) Anyway, we're supposed to follow along and try out what our professor does. I try to do that, but for whatever reason I usually end up missing the part where he tells us where to find the images he's using so I just improvise. Some of the results are quite fun.

George feels fabulous wading in the reflecting pool.

Don't ask. I don't know.

I kinda just got bored in class and made this one. I don't remember why I grabbed the terminator image.

Collage

2007-02-26T10:05:00.000-05:00

I accidentally saved this as a draft. This is the first homework assignment I did for my photoshop class. The assignment was to a make a collage with two photographs, one supplied by me the other by someone else in the class. I'm noticing that most of my work so far has been fairly simple, and in keeping with that trend, this one isn't very complicated, but I'm happy with it.

Absolut Pseudopod

2007-02-25T22:15:00.000-05:00

This is the godawful Absolut Vodka ad I made for my Art and Digital Tech class this week. I'm really disappointed with it. And myself. I had a bunch of other ideas, which I may still follow through on, but this one I was able to throw together fairly quickly. I'm depressed now and wish to sleep.

EDIT: Boredom + Photoshop = More ABSOLUT ads!

Off center a bit. I'll fix it in the morning.

Amateur / Professional

2007-02-20T14:20:00.000-05:00

Here's a clever idea with some really fun results. Little kids' pictures were reinterpreted by various artists. This would make a wonderful art exhibit. I'd also like to see the kids redraw something that the artists create. You can see the full gallery here.

Customer Service

2007-02-20T14:06:00.000-05:00

This is a wonderful little conversation between a customer service rep and someone who bought a car. As an added bonus, it's set up as if the person bought a car the same way most people buy a computer. It makes me wonder how after 20 years of PCs showing up in more and more homes, people still know less about the computer they use daily than they do about something ultimately irrelevant like the number of RBIs of every pitcher in major league baseball.

Helpline: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
Customer:"Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."
Helpline: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I work it?"
Helpline: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "Do I know how to what?"
Helpline: "Do you know how to DRIVE?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!"
[more here]

Your Doctor is In Another Castle

2007-02-20T09:54:00.000-05:00

Next time you go in for a checkup, ask you doctor what his high score is in Tetris.

"According to a new study published in the Archives of Surgery, surgeons who put in their downtime playing video games proved to have considerably higher surgical skills than their non-gamer co-workers, in particular when it came to laparoscopic surgery, which involves manipulating instruments while staring at a monitor." [source]

Basically now my dad's obliged to pick up a Wii. It will help him help children.

Wetsuit

2007-02-19T00:23:00.000-05:00

This ad campaign is wonderfully obscene. The tagline "Not as thick. Just as warm. All the rubber you'll need." is pure genius. Kind of a shame the models aren't any prettier than they are. The first guy doesn't look like he has a nose and his woman bears an eerie resemblance Jackie Kennedy. Eek.

24 Hours of the Half Hour News Hour

2007-02-18T23:31:00.000-05:00

Ho. Lee. Shit. Fox is going crazy. Apparently Bill-O couldn't cut into Jon Stewart's ratings so now the Fox News Crew is trying to compete! The Half Hour News Hour is being advertised as "the Daily Show for conservatives." It's being produced by the creator of everyone's favorite over-
the-top drama, 24. It looks like it's going to be just what he says it will; a horrible rip off of a good show. The promo for the show reveals nothing except for the fact that Fox News is finally being honest about the people they'd love to see deported. What I am still a little confused by is the fact that it's being aired not on Fox, but on the Fox News Channel. Can they accurately call themselves a news channel now that they're offering entertainment in addition to their news? I guess they could argue that's never stopped them before. Anyway, here's the bland aforementioned promo which reveals little to nothing about what the show will actually look like.

Hop on Pop

2007-02-18T22:01:00.000-05:00

I made this faux CD cover art for my art and digital tech class. It's obviously based on the cover of Dr. Seuss's Hop on Pop. Not very creative but the best I could do given the time constraint of about an hour. As an afterthought, I wish I had put on an explict content warning.

EDIT: Something like this, perhaps.

Like Dolphins with Stingers

2007-02-15T17:05:00.000-05:00

No one knows why they do it, but apparently manta rays fly out of the water ever once in a while. Here's a collection of photos and videos of flying mantas. They pictures look eerily beautiful but the video reveals a much less exciting manta belly-flop.

Your pets will LOOOOOK at B'owl

2007-02-15T16:58:00.000-05:00

This fake ad is incredible. And not just because it has little children talking about how pretty their b'owls are.

Busy Day

2007-02-14T16:42:00.000-05:00

I got an email today from Style.com which contained an interesting fact. On Valentine's Day, according to Lifestyles Condoms, 87 condoms are used per second. Pretty fucking incredible.

Snakes on a Plane

2007-02-14T10:18:00.000-05:00

This is why I love the BBC. Specifically, the first image accompanying the article. Someone deserves a Pulitzer.

Ricky Gervais on Genesis

2007-02-12T23:25:00.000-05:00

Ricky Gervais is the genius behind both US and UK versions of The Office and this faux MS training video. He also has a show on HBO called Extras where he has celebrities come on as guest stars and parody themselves. Anyway, he's one of my favorite comedians, so I thought I'd share this delightful clip of Ricky taking us through the book of Genesis.

The Day the Music Died

2007-02-12T12:32:00.000-05:00

Anyone reading this should be familiar with my feelings for the recording industry. (Anyone who doesn't feel similarly is wrong.) Anyway, I was delighted to see Ars Technica posted a study into the effects of P2P on music sales. Their findings effectively refute everything the RIAA has claimed about the insidious internet pirates.

"Using detailed records of transfers of digital music files, we find that file sharing has had no statistically significant effect on purchases of the average album in our sample," the study reports. "Even our most negative point estimate implies that a one-standard-deviation increase in file sharing reduces an album's weekly sales by a mere 368 copies, an effect that is too small to be statistically distinguishable from zero."

The report claims that the decrease in album sales is caused by a decrease in demand on the part of retailers who don't want a surplus of CDs sitting on their shelves any more. People are also buying more DVDs. (Suck on that, move industry.) The most interesting fact from the study, however, is that for popular music, increased P2P downloads also increased album sales.

Speaking of music downloads, a super hot new blog seems to have shown up on these intertubes. Check it out here. Many fun things to be seen, and of course, free music.

Nospia

2007-01-25T20:48:00.001-05:00

Nospia, originally uploaded by lamarde.

I found a wonderful flickr page full of some nice retro cigarette posters. I want one for my room next year. Check out the rest.

Monty Python Tribute

2007-01-25T12:20:00.000-05:00

I just read on Ars Technica that Google has begun to integrate YouTube into its Google Video search page. Basically it works more like Google image search for instance and searches not just GV but YouTube as well. Anyway, I decided to try it out and found this hilarious Monty Python tribute done by Matt and Trey. You may enjoy it...now.

Golden Delicious

2007-01-22T10:42:00.000-05:00

Two days ago I was handed a six pack to thank me (and my coworkers) for fixing a computer. I was required to refuse it, unfortunately. Yesterday, I was asked out on a date. By a female. She evidently was blind or otherwise functionally retarded.

I love my job.

Colbert's Second Greatest Moment

2007-01-19T12:09:00.000-05:00

And easily his best interview. Colbert v O'Reilly. It's magnificent. Enjoy.

Don't forget to check out O'Reilly's interview of Colbert which aired on the same night.

I'm ficklish

2007-01-19T10:38:00.000-05:00

As you can tell, I'm changing the face of BJ once again. I plan on making a new header this weekend. This one looks bad. Anyway, feedback is always appreciated.

Your World Delivered. To the NSA.

2007-01-17T13:52:00.000-05:00

I mentioned a while ago, that Cingular was (sort of) re-acquired by AT&T. They're going to be changing their name to AT&T Wireless probably around the same time the iPhone is released. The creation and purchase of Cingular is kind of complicated so I think I'll leave it to Stephen Colbert to explain it to you.

EDIT: In case you're wondering, the title of the post is in reference to this little AT&T scandal and the accompanying logo parody.

Keyboard Dancing

2007-01-17T13:40:00.000-05:00

I was watching an episode of The Office in which Pam, the receptionist, brags to her star-crossed lover, Jim, that she can type at 90 words per minute. (Jim can only get 65.) Anyway, I was curious as to how fast I could type, and after some quick googling, found this test. I'm ususually somewhere between 80 and 90, but my high score is 101. Unfortunately it doesn't count accuracy so if you just wiggle your fingers around on the keyboard for a while, you can pretty easily get 100+ wpm. [test]

Also, school's officially back in session. A few days ago, I was only in 3 classes. (We're required to take 5 per semester.) Now I'm in 4 and the fifth I want to get into is taught by my photography professor from last semester, so getting in won't be a problem. I was getting a little anxious about going back to classes towards the end of break, but now that I've gone to most of them, I'm kind of excited. The only class I dislike is (of course) my biblical studies class, but after this semester I will never have to open that god-awful book ever again. How exciting is that?

Red Flags Should Go Up.

2007-01-12T12:33:00.000-05:00

These misguided requirements distort the marketplace by forcing industry to adopt agency-blessed solutions rather than allow innovative and competitive approaches to develop. We have seen this happen with the proposed video flag, and interest groups are pushing for an audio flag mandate as well. Whether well-intentioned or not, the FCC has no business interfering in private industry to satisfy select special interests or to impose its own views.

I have a new favorite Senator and his name is Sununu. Not only is he trying to lift federal restrictions on how electronics can be manufactured, but he's also going up against some lobbying from the TV and movie studios. They're the ones who succeeded in getting legislation passed requiring that broadcast flags be embedded in tv signals so that technology could be developed to restrict recording access. The catch of course is that the manufacturers of DVD recorders need to include flag detecting technology that would effectively limit their products ability to do its job. [link]

A Few Pictures

2007-01-11T20:02:00.000-05:00

The new T fares suck. Those are universal. $2 everywhere! It's piracy.

I went shopping the other day and saw these transsexual bathrooms. Oh Boston. How progressive can you get?

Then I saw this and wondered how Boston could call itself a blue state when the homos and the heteros can't even share the same milk.

Infectiously Cute

2007-01-04T14:15:00.000-05:00

I think I may have just found the most adorable toy ever.

Most folks never realize how cute microbes can be when expanded 1,000,000 times and then fashioned into cuddly plush. Until now, that is. Keep one on your desktop to remind yourself that there is an "invisible" universe out there filled with very small things that can do incredible damage to much bigger things. Then go and wash your hands. Lather, rinse, repeat.

This one (E. Coli) is my favorite. It reminds me of a baby Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Arachnorcotics

2007-01-03T11:45:00.000-05:00

A wonderful clip from a documentary on drugged spiders. :)

Peter Jennings - Ecstasy Rising

2006-12-30T18:40:00.001-05:00

The rise of Ecstasy is a major event in drug history. If current trends continue, 1.8 million Americans will try Ecstasy for the first time in 2004; only marijuana will attract more new users. Overwhelming, positive word of mouth has made Ecstasy a nightmare for drug controllers. On a special edition of 'Primetime Thursday' Peter Jennings tells the epic story of Ecstasy that has never been heard.

This is an interesting documentary on the history of ecstasy in America and Europe. It criticizes the government's position based on spurious statistics and borders on promoting the drug. It opens with a montage of people saying it was the best thing that they ever did followed by one or two guys warning that it's a pharmaceutical Russian Roulette. Decide for yourself. And drink lots of fluids.

White Post-Xmas

2006-12-30T17:35:00.000-05:00

It's so pretty outside.

Adieu.

2006-12-29T22:58:00.000-05:00

Saddam has been reunited with his lover in hell. Good bye.

Best of Bush

2006-12-28T16:12:00.000-05:00

Enjoy a montage of Bush's greatest moments.

Somewhere Between Waking and Sleeping

2006-12-27T19:08:00.000-05:00

As excited as I was to come down to MO for a break, I think I am already tired of it. Could just be boredom. Eh.

In the early morning (at 7:51 to be exact) I was woken up by my vibrating phone. I didn't recognize the Boston number so I didn't answer. When the voicemail arrived, I discovered it was a coworker asking if I'd be willing to come in today to cover for some people who couldn't come in. This is the last person I spoke with before leaving for the T home. He in fact made fun of me for having to lug my suitcase to the T station. Why he thought calling me would be a good idea is beyond me.

I went to the hospital today to see my ailing grandfather. He's not in the best of shape, but he looked better than I expected. He didn't move much in his bed and his speech was slow and slurred, but he honestly doesn't look that bad. In fact, he looks considerably better than when I last saw him. Anyway, he seemed really happy to see my father and me. He really liked the nurse that was helping him and the (cute) minister who came to visit and pray with him. Luckily no one saw me roll my eyes when the minster offered to pray with him. I suppose the most awkward moment was when he asked if I'd been with/had any girls in Boston waiting for me to which I simply said "no" with a rather ambiguous smile which he can interpret however he likes.

Hiroshima

2006-12-26T15:31:00.000-05:00

America's dropping of the bomb(s) on Japan is a bit of a taboo in my house, especially around the holidays when my grandparents are over. Like most people of their generation, my parents think it was an abominable act and unnecessary for the victory of the war. However, their parents, specifically on my mother's side have quite the opposite opinion. I don't know all the details about my grandfather's service during WW2, but I think he would have been shipped to the Pacific if the war had gone on much longer so he to this day is glad we did it. I'm more inclined to agree with my parents on the matter (if I ever utter/write those words again, one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will saddle up). I was nevertheless pretty horrified when I found a clip of a BBC documentary called "Hiroshima." Voiced by Malcolm McDowell, it reenacts the bomb drop and even has interviews with survivors, one of whom was pretty much at ground zero. She only survived because she was in an earthquake-proof bank. It's pretty horrifying stuff, but worth the 10 minutes to watch.

xMass

2006-12-25T16:23:00.000-05:00

As you may or may not be aware, today is xmas, the birthday of Sir Isaac Newton and Victor Retail the inventor of the modern mall and the man who introduced the gift-giving so everyone could celebrate his birthday and spend money at his malls. To celebrate xmas, many people go to a Spiritual Boutique of sorts, commonly referred to as a "church". There they pay for various wise sayings and advice that make them feel better about their lives. I however, am already full of sage advice and - unbeknownst to my parents who insist I spend money on the advice of the collared church salespeople - decided not to go shopping at the xmas (Spiritual Extravaganza) Mass. Instead, my brother and I went driving around the city eventually winding up in FoPo where I snapped a few pictures on my phone.

These are the fountains at Art Hill which look much more impressive either at night or during the summer.

There were some really need copper slinky sculptures in various stages of (over)extension strewn about the bottom of art hill. I wish I'd taken more pictures, but I think you get the idea.
T

This slinky shattered.

My brother contemplates the mysteries of the universe on the waterfront. His outfit blends in with his surroundings far too well.

King Louis IX in all his majesty.

The mighty Hercules in a tangle of snakes. I wish the lighting (and my camera) were better.

Futz Said Peter

2006-12-24T21:26:00.000-05:00

I'm hoping my shitty week is officially over. After the unfortunate events recounted in my previous post, even worse circumstances came to light just the next day. I had just left the bank asking that they send me a new card. I called home to thank my parents for canceling the card and updating them on the situation. I told my dad I'd see him tomorrow night at 9. He went to travelocity's website to check to verify the arrival time, but my break was about to end so I told him to call me if something came up. I went back to work and my phone rang at least 4 times. My dad's unusually persistent when he wants to contact someone. It seems strange since he never answers his phone when anyone calls him.

The phone calls stopped and about five minutes later, as I walked by the register at the back of the store, one of my coworkers told me I had a phone call from American Airlines. That couldn't be good news. My manager said it sounded pretty important and that I'd better take it. I walked to the back room and picked up line 1. I was delighted to find out it wasn't American Airlines but my manipulative mother bearing a message from the bastards at AA. Turns out they reserve the right to cancel flights and move your flight time if they can't book enough tickets. It also turns out they reserve the right to inform people of this reserved right until the day before they plan on leaving. My flight, originally leaving at 7, was moved to 3. I was scheduled to leave work at 1. Not even with the most reckless cab driver in Boston could I have made it to the airport in time to get my ticket and board (especially without my ATM card.)

My manager walked in as I finished the phone call. He caught the tail end of the conversation which I realized left him a little puzzled since I was panicked about something "they" had done. "That was my mother. She said they just moved up my flight four hours," I said.
After I explained the situation, he said he didn't want anyone to miss xmas so he'd let me work from 7 to 11 instead. The only problem with that was that I had exactly $14 and some change left to my name and the bank was closed. I ended up taking a cab to work. This cab driver was very amicable and as law-abiding as his predecessor. Unfortunately he charged 4 times what the other guy did. Luckily when I arrived at work, I still had a few dollars left. The work day dragged on for far too long, but I did leave with plenty of time to make it to the airport. On the T ride over my nose started bleeding. It was the most random nosebleed I've ever had. I used the back of my hand to press on my the bloody nostril. (I never use the palm. That has far too much interaction with far too many things. Especially since I came from work, I did not want to shove all those germs up there.) Anyway, when I walked into the airport, I couldn't really hold my nose any more so I walked in with blood on my knuckles and more blood streaming down my face. I don't think I ever looked more like Tyler Durden. The looks on their faces were priceless.

Kinda Bad Day

2006-12-22T23:59:00.000-05:00

So today was supposed to be a good day. I went to the gym (which was apparently open even though winter break has begun). That made me very happy. After relaxing for a bit in my room I decided I'd get in the xmas spirit of trying to buy just the right gift for just the right person. I took the T out to Espresso Royale and read another chapter of Atlas Shrugged. I'm still very early in the book, but I love it. I'm kind of scared though. One of the characters seems to have the exact same thought processes I do. I won't say who just yet because I'm not sure what horrible fate awaits him.

After my delicious bagel sandwich, I headed over to Barnes and Noble. As I was poking around for fun things I get a phone call from a boston number I'd never seen before. I picked up. It was my manager. She probably wanted me to cover for someone who hadn't been able to come in today. I was ready to tell her I'd could be in an hour or two when she asked where I was and why I wasn't there. I offered a hurried apology and said I'd be in as soon as I could while running down the escalator. I foolishly thought I could make it to work that day by taking the T. Rule number 1 in Boston is never to rely on the T when you need it. I remembered this only after I'd paid $5 for a T pass. And wasted $1.25 on a T ride. Realizing the inefficiency of this decision, I ran back upstairs and stood around on a street corner hailing every cab that went by until one finally picked me up. I've decided cab drivers are some of my favorite people in the world, but only when they're on your side. I think they must have lobbied for the ability to break any and every road rule. I can't remember one red light that he obeyed unless a car in front of him had stopped. He took me to my dorm and waited while I changed into my work shirt. As we pulled up to the mall, he told me he didn't take credit or debit cards. My opinion of him briefly grew to intense hatred. I ran inside to an ATM, pulled out more than enough for the fare, ran back out and told him to keep the change. As I ran back in, the security guard looked at me like he'd seen me steal a $5000 watch from Mont Blanc. "Hey slow down there. Why were you running?" I jogged by him acknowledging he'd spoken to me only by muttering "late for work." I'm pretty sure I heard one of my coworkers say I looked like a heroine junkie when I walked in.

The situation got much better when I went on my (reduced) break to get some food. I fished my wallet out of my pocket and discovered I couldn't pay for the sandwich I'd just ordered because my card was not there. Bad news indeed. I ordered a latte with the last cash I had in my wallet and went over to the bank to see if they'd found it. I knew I'd left it in an ATM there; that was the last time I'd used it. My break ended too soon and I didn't get to talk to anyone there but I did manage to call my parents one of whom was able to cancel the card. Minor crisis slightly averted. The rest of my day was entirely word related and mostly uneventful. I'm going to go shower my track marks away. Nighty night.

Areas of My Expertise

2006-12-19T11:03:00.000-05:00

Never really done audiobooks before, but I couldn't resist this one. John Hodgman's The Areas of My Expertise is was free on the iTunes Store. It's read by John himself (thank FSM.) So far it's ridiculously funny. Try it out.

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